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Questions Regarding Chemo & Surgery
Greetings – Haven’t been here in a few weeks, and I have a few questions. A quickie background – Mom had a tumor in her bladder which was removed. Doc said it had invaded the muscle, but nothing to indicate it had spread outside her bladder. He suggested chemo and then surgery near the end of the year to remove her bladder.
Mom went in yesterday for her last chemo of Cycle #1 of 4 cycles. She has Gemzar (Monday) and Cisplatin (Tuesday) the first week and then just the Gemzar the next Mondays, and then a week off, making up one cycle.
So prior to her treatment yesterday, they checked her blood as usual and said she couldn’t have the treatment because her platelets were so low. So I took her in today to have a blood transfusion. So I’m wondering if this is a good thing, bad thing, or nothing to be too worried about. Looking on the web, it doesn’t sound very uncommon. They told me that the chemo must be working if Mom needed blood only after 3 chemo sessions.
So I’m wondering what anyone knows about the transfusions and if indeed it is fairly commonplace.
The next question I have is regarding the surgery. I guess we are trying to decide whether or not to have it. Mom is a very active and independent 86 year old who lives alone, drives, quilts, is politically active as well as active in several other groups – so not what many typically think of a person her age being. She understands that we’re all going to die – so is trying to weigh the pros and cons of undergoing this MAJOR surgery once chemo is done. It’s the quality vs. quantity thing.
I know there is no cookie cutter answer for the questions I ask. I’ve gotten good feedback from the good folks here before, so thought I’d pick your brains again. Thanks so much and hugs to all. Mary :)
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10 Replies
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Thanks Danielle for your kind words. My brother and I were talking today and realize that the doctors so far (urologist and oncologist) have only really spoken to us about the options of “doing nothing” or “doing everything”(meaning chemo and then surgery.) I’m going to talk to mom this weekend and see if we can meet with the doctor again to find out if there are any middle options that might let her continue living life as she has been under the chemo and with bladder checks – instead of opting for the surgery – which we really think would be a terrible change in quality of life for her, and would make her really unhappy. We just need more information I think. Thank you again for the support. I helps being able to come here and speak to people who really understand. mary
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Mary Dear, my heart goes out to you. I know how sad you must be feeling inside. You are a great support to your Mother and she is so lucky to have such a caring family around to support her through this very difficult time….
Keep thinking positive.
Danielle
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I’ve learned more than I ever wanted to know about bladder cancer since Mom’s diagnosis, and I’ve found the folks here so nice, supportive, and helpful. I know no one can really make decisions for mom. Not even her own children. We’re just all trying to think about the surgery being as informed as possible. So far, I haven’t read of anyone over 80 who has had the surgery, but am learning that even for people much younger, it was quite an ordeal. I won’t be going anywhere. Even for support, this is a wonderful place to come. And when we are talking about moms – well there are no more special people in the world to us. I can’t imagine life without her in it, so this has been especially difficult for me. As soon as she was diagnosed and several times since then, she has encouraged us children to “be cheerful.” I always am when going with her to chemo or blood transfusions – but it’s killing me inside and is breaking my heart. Thanks for the support. Mary
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I took several days of thought and recalling my after surgery recovery before posting to you. I should also point out that my Mom is 95 and still filling me with good Irish cooking when I visit and of course telling me how to run my life!
:laugh: If I were in my 80’s I’m not so sure I would give the go ahead to surgery. Life is full of difficult decisions and this will probably be one of the most difficult. We may not be much help in your decision-making; you must remember that we are here and will support you in any direction chosen.
I’m 70, retired heat/air contractor. After 4 months of keymo ileal conduit (IC) surgery removed bladder & prostate May 2010
Thanks Danielle – We have a family consultation a month prior to when he’s scheduled surgery (December) and we’ll see what all the alternatives are then. Thank you for your honesty – that’s what we need to hear now. Mary
Thanks Mike. Good information to have, and I think Mom would like to know this. The surgery scares mom, me, and my brothers and sister. I just don’t understand a doctor would suggest this if they didn’t see a positive outcome. However, we do have a family consultation a month prior to surgery, so I think the many questions we have will be answered then. Mary
I have to agree with you Mike. To attempt such an operation at 86 years will be very hard on the patient. My husband was just under 70 when he passed the operation and it is a long long recovery. My husband was athletic and a very strong person physically…
Talk with your Oncologist to see if there is an alternative solution…Your Mum could go through radical surgery and later find that there were rogue cells which spread. This unfortunately happened to my husband.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your Dear Mother.
Danielle
All good AND tough questions. It can take 6-12 months to be “fully” recovered from surgery.
That is to really feel %100 percent again. I think I was about 75% for a number of months.That seems to be the general. On census of the research I’ve seen and the folks who post here.
That’s not for 86 year olds.No magic answer but you and she seem to be thinking about the right questions.
Good luck!
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results….distant mets
2/2014 ct result…spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph system
My opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinion of ABLCS or anyone else. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.
Thanks Sara Anne – I know many people get through the surgery and do well. I suppose it’s mom’s age that concerns us. At 86, she’s realistic that her years are somewhat limited – even if she were perfectly healthy.
Our concern is IF she can survive such a major surgery at this age – and if so, what is the length of time it would take her to recuperate from it to life “back to normal” – The doctor says up to two weeks in the hospital and then a rehab facility unless she has round the clock care at home for some undetermined period of time.
In other words, how long does a recovery back to a “normal” life take for people at various ages.
I haven’t read here of too many people in their 80s who have had the surgery, but would love to hear if there are some.
Mom doesn’t want to “waste” precious time on surgery with a lengthy recovery period when her expected life span is somewhat limited to begin with. Not sure if I’m making sense. She won’t have the quality of life she is now accustomed to, nor will she be happy if she has to spend half of the time she may have left anyways recovering from this major event.
So she is wondering how long she would live should she get through the chemo and forgo the surgery.
Thanks again and comments are more than welcome. So many questions. Mary
Chemo is pretty severe stuff and I do not think it is that unusual for a patient to become anemic.
As for the surgery, while I have not had it, many, many people on this Forum have. It is not easy surgery, but most do very well after they recover. Even scuba diving!! AND, if the cancer is contained, it is definitely curative.
If your mother is in good health, it is something that she and her doctor should consider very seriously.
Sara Anne
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
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