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Potency
Hello. Just a quick question, I’m three months post cystectomy. My surgen told me that he had managed to spare my nerves. So far there is no sign of any potency – my question is: does potency happen gradually with small steps or is it something that will happen suddenly. Thanks in advance for any replies.
Winning the battle :-)7 Replies-
Leaking plumbing while in the act is something I haven’t really given much thought to, but I’ll cross that bridge when I reach it. For now, getting some lead in my pencil is whats on my agenda. My doc suggested trying a rubber ring type device at the base of my penis(can’t remember what it’s called) as I have tried cialis and viagra which had no effect at all. Anyone used the ring?
Winning the battle :-)
I felt, for a long time, pretty delicate after my op and me and my partner didn’t have sex for months and months. I think we just had an unspoken understanding that this is the way it was. weirdly, even though my erections were also non-exoistent I did get just the one immediately after I came out of hospital and we had (very careful!) sex. you feel like your body has taken a battering and, with me, Iit took me a while to trust that my plumbing wouldn’t leak during the “act”!!!
Ok, will hang-in there(pardon the pun!)for now.
In the meantime, what do people in similar circumstances do until the hydraulics kick-in or the meds begin to work? I am extremely lucky to have a very understanding partner who I can to talk to and sometimes laugh with, about this issue. But, so far since my op, we have not been anywhere near what you might describe as sex. This is partly due to me healing from the physical scars after a relatively short time post-op(three months now) and also to a greater extent for me – healing from the mental scars. These for me seem to run a little deeper than the physical ones. My libido and drive is definitely there, which is a bonus. But I cant help but to feel that initiating sex with my partner will just lead to a dead-end, so I don’t go there(for now). Anyone else have or had this problem? or any advice on how to get things moving to where they should be? :-
Winning the battle :-)
irishguy
easy to say but don’t give up on this yet. 3 months post-op is very early still
tim
Thanks for the advice…
In most ways I feel very lucky to have beaten cancer and come out through the other side of a big operation relatively unscaved. My surgeon who I’m informed is one of the best at what he does – really did (I believe) a great job on me. I’m extremely grateful for all of this and happy to be living my “extended” life with my family. But the potency issue for me is the most difficult to deal with at the moment. I know it’s early days yet to expect to be “Mr. upallnighter”! But there is absolutely no sign of anything resembling hardness in the penis department. I won’t give up yet and will keep searching for a way – I guess I’ll just have to wait it out and live in hope for now.
Thanks again for your help
Winning the battle :-)
Hey Irish Guy,
Good question. There’s is way too little discussion about sex after this kind of surgery.My take on what othes have said (on this website and others) is that there is huge variation for return to potency. Pre-surgery potency is a significant predictor of potency after surgery (assuming no other issues like lasting nerve damage…).
Some docs suggest that pills and/or shots can help speed things along, though I dunno, haven’t seen compelling data. The latest scuttlebut is to do whatever it takes to get blood flow into your penis as soon as possible.
For me, there was no potency for several months, then maybe at month 5 or so I tried the pills (Viagra gave no response and Ciallis, while it worked, kinda, gave me a terrible headache and backache – I’ve not used either since). At maybe month 8 or so I received one injection in the doctors office which worked for a couple of hours (didn’t have an immediate opportunity to use my new found return to potency, unfortunately, as I went to the doctor’s office all by my lonesome – though I might have imagined a couple of nurses glancing at my trousers as I left the doctor’s office). :-) My one person’s point-of-view is that the one shot might have helped ‘jump started’ my hydraulics.
Starting at about a year or so, potency returned, no pills or shots. I wasn’t terribly diligent about getting blood flow ‘down there’, I’m doing fine, so read up on this stuff, maybe see an ED doc, and do what makes sense…
Here is an excellent website that while it focuses on prostate patients, has good info on sex issues, be they pills, shots (bi-mix, tri-mix), vacuum devices, rings, implants, emotional issues… Both men and women participate. You might find it useful to sign up for awhile, read the posts… I’ve learned some new lingo, like erections can be quantified as being ‘stuffable’ or not…
http://www.prostatepointers.org/mailman/listinfo/pcai
And definitely get your wife/gf… involved and talk about this stuff. And laugh. Then talk some more. Then keep talking and laughing.
There are LOTS of post-surgery options for sex, both for you and ur honey.
Dx 7/04, CIS + T1G3, Age 50
2 TURBTs
12 BCGs
Cystectomy 8/05 USC/Norris
So far, so good (kow)
broadly, potency will most likely be a gradual process although some patients have reported immediate results – even getting a full erection in hospital days after surgery. don’t let this worry you, though. it isn’t the norm. your surgeon spared the nerves but there is likely to be nerve damage which can take up to a few years to fully heal. im a year out of suregry now with the nerve sparing and I can just about manage an erection without meds now that’s suitable for penetration. it’s taken a while. my doc advocates begininng regular erection meds at 6 weeks to stimulate blood flow and get things moving down there again. i tried levitra, viagra and cialis but cialis is the one ive stayed with. ive also tried caverject which is good if the nerve sparing wasn’t completely up to the job as it gives you a rock hard chemical erection. it’s not as scary as it sounds but you’ll probably want to take the gentler meds first.
all the best
tim
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