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My Mother
First of all I’d like to say that I’m not from America (Australian) but I didn’t think it’d make much of a difference which country to forum was based in.
I’m a 16 year old teenager who just found out last week that my mother (who is in her late 50s) had been diagnosed with bladder cancer over 3 years ago and had been hiding it from me, I’ve not been able to get much info from her as she hides a lot of info from me and also has a partial language barrier between her and her doctors which may not allow her to have all the information.
From what she has told me I gather that it is a 2-3mm cauliflower superficial tumor (she said that it was growing just on the surface of the bladder rather than invading muscle tissue), when I asked her whether it was high-grade or low grade she told me that she was told it was low grade, once again she may be lying to me so that I am not concerned, this is probably the worst I have felt in my entire life, I’d rather go through my own medical problems 100 fold than have to watch her suffer.
Obviously I am very concerned and have done a lot of research on the internet about bladder cancer, I have heard that bladder cancer has a high chance of recurring and I am very worried that it will return and progress, she has been cancer free for over 2 years now and had only one tumor recurrence (3 months after it was originally removed), the second time round she got treated with liquid in her bladder (once again she doesn’t tell me any of the details) but has not had chemo.
She’s scheduled for 6 monthly check up tomorrow and I’m terrified about what they’ll find (she will probably hide it from me if they find another tumour), it’s frustrating being left in the dark like this. Do any of you guys have experience with this form of bladder cancer and what are the chances of surviving (I can only find 5 year survival rates) and living a full life? What should I expect?
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5 Replies
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Thanks for sharing. That’s great news for you and your mom!
Husband’s journey:
01/2015 1st cystoscopy
03&04/2015 TURBTs-CIS
07/2015 Finished BCGx6
08/2015 biopsy-BENIGN!
10/2015 Finished BCGx3
12/2015 Cysto, redness
01/2016 TURBT, Benign
04/2016 Cysto
05/2016 Finished BCGx3
07&11/2016 Cysto’s
1/2017 Finished BCGx3
2/2017 Cysto, redness
3/2017 TURBT, Cysto due 9/2017
Thanks for all the replies everyone, I have good news.
My mother went for a check up and everyone was apparently fine, she has no signs of recurrence at the moment, she’s booked for another appointment in 6 months.
Dear Concerned Son,
My husband was diagnosed in 2001 with superficial bladder cancer and is still alive; he is experiencing another bump in the road currently. What I am trying to say is that bladder cancer survivors can and do live a long time and live good lives. My husband exercises 2 times a week and square dances and works full time. You sound like a very smart young man who I am sure your mother is proud to have for a son. I agree with Sara Anne that it would be a good idea to sit down with your mother and let her know your feelings and concerns.
Hang in there, buddy. I agree that it is hard to watch your loved one suffer.
Anita, a concerned wife
Anita
Forum Moderator
Caregiver
Dear Concerned Son,
Sharing information on a health issue like bladder cancer with loved ones, especially your children, is difficult.
When their dad was diagnosed less than a year ago, we shared more specific details with our 19 year old than we did with our 13 year old. That was our parenting decision based on what we felt was age appropriate for our children. We emphasized that an excellent doctor was treating my husband and we have full faith in the treatment plan which includes a regular schedule of follow-up checkups.
The forum is here for you and your Mom and I hope your Mom continues to get good reports from the doctor. It sounds like your Mom is in good hands at home and in the doctor’s office.
Wishing you and your Mom the best.
Husband’s journey:
01/2015 1st cystoscopy
03&04/2015 TURBTs-CIS
07/2015 Finished BCGx6
08/2015 biopsy-BENIGN!
10/2015 Finished BCGx3
12/2015 Cysto, redness
01/2016 TURBT, Benign
04/2016 Cysto
05/2016 Finished BCGx3
07&11/2016 Cysto’s
1/2017 Finished BCGx3
2/2017 Cysto, redness
3/2017 TURBT, Cysto due 9/2017
I am so sorry to hear about your mother’s bladder cancer. You are, of course, welcome here. Think you mother is lucky to have you!
First of all, everything she has told you points to low-grade, non-invasive cancer, most likely papillary (ie, the “mushroom-like” stalk) transitional cell carcinoma. It is good news that it has not gone into the muscle and her doctors seem to be right on it, and doing the right things. Not sure exactly what the “liquid” treatment might have been…..in the US it would have been BCG and she would have had at least six treatments. And yes, low grade bladder cancer has a bad habit of coming back. You mentioned that your mother has already had a recurrence. BUT her doctors seem to be keeping a really good watch on her which is what should be done.
It is important to remember that bladder cancer, when found early as it appears that your mother’s was, is very treatable. I was diagnosed over 7 years ago, have had no recurrences, and am doing great. There are others here with even longer histories. You will also see stories on the Forum with not-so-good outcomes, but these people do not have the same type of bladder cancer as your mom.
Now for the hard part. You need to sit down with your mother and explain how much you want to be by her side for this journey, and how much worry it causes you when you feel she is trying to spare you worry. This is very common in families…they do not want to worry their loved ones, an the result is even more worry and anxiety. She needs to know that you love her and are there for her support. Maybe on her next visit to the urologist she might let you go and speak with him. I think he would tell you basically what I have….and assure you that your mother has an excellent prognosis.
Please feel free to ask us any questions you may have….we are here to support you. As I said above, your mom is very fortunate to have such a caring son.
Sara Anne
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
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