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my husband has stage 3
my husband has stage 3 bladder cancer i am scared of something happening but keeping positive attitude
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14 Replies
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thank you how is the ileal different from the others if my husband was to get it how could i help me as a caregiver helene
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Hi hwg
I had my bladder removed in 08 and have an ileal conduit. I wouldn’t trade it for the others because I don’t think I could make it through all of the training you have to do with the others. It all depends on you and your doc. Good luck
Dx 4-28-08
pT3a no mo
Rc with Ileal Conduit on 6-09-08
2nd surgery on 6-27-09 for ureter leak
Renal failure on 7-01-09 nephy tube and then stent on 7-09-09
so far so good
my husband will be having his bladder removed and his options are to have the indiana pouch neo bladder or ileal conduit what do you think are good options
mike thanks for the good advice we have already gotten closer and i have a positive attitude the more that i am understanding the more calm i have become thanks helene
Hwg,
In the overall scheme of things, it doesn’t take all that long to get used to. Sure, there are pads and Depends and it’s a pain in the butt for a while, but once he is past that stage it seems like a fairly short time. Honestly, it is frustrating and seems like a long time while one goes through it, but it’s worth it long term.
It’s always harder (emotionally) on the front end. Once you’re in the middle of it, it’s just a matter of dealing with it and keeping a positive attitude. After that, it’s fairly easy. He’ll be telling other people here about his experiences and helping them to see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that some amount of fear on the front end is to be expected, and that it’s all worth it in the end.
You have each other through all of this and many of our experiences have shown that couples get even closer through all of this. I know it did for my wife and me and I’ve read the same from others. When you face this together as a team, it just works.
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results….distant mets
2/2014 ct result…spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph system
My opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinion of ABLCS or anyone else. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.
diesel doc
i agree with you,i have been getting a great deal of advice i know my husband has maybe thats why hes so calm i dont understand why he seems to not be as worried as i am but i am thinking positively and my husband has been explaining the options to me. i have been reading the responses he has gotten and i am just concerned that the bladder replacement takes so long to adjust to
Listen to Pat and Mike, they are the best and have the most information. They both helped me alot. Stay strong and God bless! Sara Anne, love you to!!!!
T1,NO,MO battling bladder cancer since 2005
thank you
How to get the best cancer care
http://health.usnews.com/health-news/managing-your-healthcare/cancer/articles/2009/11/30/how-to-get-the-very-best-cancer-care
pat
hi sara anne
good news Petscan came back cancer localized did not spread still stage 3 thanks for your good advice i am thinking positively feel better that petrscan came back no new tumors :cheer: he has TURBT on wednesday then we start chemo 2weeks later starting to feel a little better.
Helene
It is normal to be scared. I think it is harder, sometimes, being the caregiver than the patient (having been both at times.) You feel like going to pieces, but don’t want to since that is the “perogative” of the patient…and you want to be strong for him!!
Just a few suggestions. You CAN share your worries and concerns, but also your confidence that he can do this and that you will be there holding his hand all the way. I assume that you are going to his doctor’s appointments with him….and maybe taking notes. It is so easy to just “glaze over” when the doctor is talking and it is great to have two minds collecting the information. Particularly after surgery, you will DEFINITELY have the clearer mind and will sort of “be in charge” for a while.
I wish you both the best of luck. You are lucky to be participating in this together and to have each other.
Sara Anne
Diagnosis 2-08 Small papillary TCC; CIS
BCG; BCG maintenance
Vice-President, American Bladder Cancer Society
Forum Moderator
dear mike and george i believe you have responded to my husband already his name is alanjay we have the hospital and doctors chemo starts in 2 weeks we are in the ft lauderdale area we are using holy cross hospital i am thinking positive that all will be ok but scared my husband is very calm and taking in all in stride i am just going nuts i am afraid of the unknown
Hwg,
Sorry to hear about your husband’s diagnosis. Where are you located? Is your husband scheduled for chemo and cystectomy (bladder removal)?
As George mentioned, getting to the right surgeon is a VERY BIG DEAL in terms of outcomes.
You’ve come to the right place. People here have a lot of experience and knowledge (much of it first hand and even more from research that we’ve done).
You (and he) are NOT alone. We’re here for you. Ask any questions you may have and we’ll do our best to answer or at least point a direction.
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results….distant mets
2/2014 ct result…spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph system
My opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinion of ABLCS or anyone else. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.
It is perfectly normal to be scared. But you need to put that energy to work. Get a focus and start your research for the BEST Dr. for your husband. They may not necessarily be super convenient but seek them out. People on this site can help if you give us a general idea where you live.
Also, you need to get to the BEST cancer care hospital for Bladder cancer. Not prostrate cancer or testicular cancer…… Bladder cancer.
Your will need a Dr. who is more of an assembly line worker that an artiste. The assembly worker has seen it all and know how to do it with their eyes closed.
Patricia or Cynthia will weigh in with some help in this area.
George
Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he’s warm forever.08/08/08…RC neo bladder
09/09/09…New Hip
=
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