Home Forums All Categories Metastatic Bladder Cancer It never ends…

  • It never ends…

    Posted by Mel09 on June 26, 2009 at 12:41 pm

    My father had a turb less than 2 weeks ago and is peeing blood again. My mother thinks it could be the stent moving around and causing damage and at this point they want the neph. tube put back in. He is very weak and will likely have another transfusion. Last night they were back to the ER at 7 and he was FINALLY admitted at 4 am. My mother is exhausted and he is miserable. This is a horrible way for anyone to live.

    replied 15 years, 6 months ago 5 Members · 10 Replies
  • 10 Replies
  • 's avatar

    Guest
    July 31, 2009 at 2:13 pm

    kiely……look into this
    http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/557893_2
    Pat

  • 's avatar

    Guest
    July 31, 2009 at 4:07 am

    It’s been a while, how’s your family? My mother in law was told today that the cancer is gone from her torso but spread to her brain. We’re in shock. I have to find people who have beaten this and help her beat the odds. This is so unfair, so horrible. I hope things are better on your end.

  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    June 29, 2009 at 3:05 am

    Mel, I second Stephany find out if the surgery would extend his life and enhance the quality. I know the drive to live is strong and some will endure a lot to keep going. I expect your Mother wants to do whatever your Father wants.

    You and your Mother need to ask how you will be able to take care of your father if he continues to bleed. How would you assess his health overall. Is he still walking and eating or is he staying in bed most of the time. How is his pain level and how is that being treated. Does the urologist think he would survive major surgery? Lots of questions you need answers your family needs answers to.
    I appreciate more and more how Dick’s oncologist gently told us that we might want to look into hospice and i asked if meant that Dick had less than six months to live. His assessment was based on how much the cancer had grown and affected Dick’s physical health.

    If the oncologist and the urologist think he could physically stand up to the surgery it might provide the best relief. I would think the major goal at this point is comfort what ever that means for an individual.
    I’m sorry this had turned into such a dilemma as to what to do. Bladder Cancer doesn’t give us easy choices. Hugs, Julie


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  • mel09's avatar

    mel09

    Member
    June 28, 2009 at 5:48 pm

    I briefly mentioned hospice to my mother and she quickly dismissed it. My father still wants to fight and it just is looking so bad right now. The urologist basically told him there is nothing more he can do for him. The cancer is just continuing to bleed and it needs to come out somehow, so he is peeing it out, hence the loss of blood and the transfusions. The dr. said he could possibly come home tomorrow, then what? How can he possibly come home when he is still losing so much blood. None of it makes any sense :(

  • stephany's avatar

    stephany

    Member
    June 27, 2009 at 4:59 am

    You first need to ask them what possible benefits there would be to the surgery…..especially this: will it extend his life, and will it improve the quality of his life?

    If the answer to either question is no, then you’ll have your answer, I think. Please consider talking to hospice. Going to them is not giving up, or taking the easy way out, or “getting ready to die.” They will help him, and you, decide how he wants to live. And will help you get started with the conversations that you will want to have with him and your mother….about his true wishes for his life, and his family. I keep harping on this, because I think we waited too long to get the most benefit from hospice.

    Let us know what you find out.

    Stephany in Iowa

  • bobmac2's avatar

    bobmac2

    Member
    June 26, 2009 at 8:54 pm

    Wow- I can’t believe that they are even suggesting this huge surgery at this point. I agree with Pat- get at least 1 more opinion before committing.
    Lorrie

  • mel09's avatar

    mel09

    Member
    June 26, 2009 at 7:50 pm

    The last surgeon I took him to was Dr. Robert Weiss at Robert Wood Medical Center in NJ. My father is very weak and it is difficult to even get him to local appointments. It worries me that they are excited about this option because I know from what I have read about, that it is a difficult recovery. I guess I am trying to weigh the benefits here.

  • 's avatar

    Guest
    June 26, 2009 at 7:14 pm

    Mel i’m sorry but i need to look back and see where your father is being treated. Are you at a large cancer institution? I’d certainly get a second opinion on that. The surgery is huge and painful and much adjustment.
    Pat
    ok i found it..New Jersey and you already told me Dr. Sawczuk would not take workers comp cases. Do you have any other insurance?
    Can you get a second opinion from Memorial Sloan…maybe talk to a patient rep there and see what they could do?
    So sorry MEl………Pat
    \

  • mel09's avatar

    mel09

    Member
    June 26, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    No we have not looked into hospice yet. I am a bit stunned now actually, my mother just called and said the urologist is now recommending that the bladder be removed. I thought this was no longer an option since it had already spread to the bones???? Any advice here would be greatly appreciated. The dr. basically said that this will keep happening (urinating and losing blood) if the bladder is not removed….any thoughts???

  • bobmac2's avatar

    bobmac2

    Member
    June 26, 2009 at 2:45 pm

    I’m so sorry that your father (your mother & all the family as well)is going through all this- I agree, it’s no way to live. Bob shuffles between the recliner & the bed now- horrible to watch. We have someone coming from Hospice this morning- I hope they have some suggestions- have you done any research on Hospice for your dad?
    My best to you all
    Lorrie

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