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  • How do we care for our Caregiver?

    Posted by GKLINE on November 9, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Over the last year I have thought about my caregiver. My Wife. She was with me from the start. She was with me when the doctor gave me the news. She was there for every doctor’s visit, every surgery, every single cancer event! I tried to shield her and take some of the pressure off, but she wouldn’t yeild. She said “If it’s part of your life, It’s part of mine” And this, from a person who was not particularly nurturing by nature. She was a very pragmatic “Get over It” person. During the recovery times she was there. She kept a schedule of appointments, medicines, walks, pt sessions and a thousand other details. She NEVER flinched! How did she do it? She was me. What I had, she felt. What I went through, she went through! We were in it together. Our relationship grew in strength 100 times over. We fought the good fight as one! I got better. I could FEEL better. Every day my body told me things were going along just that little better. I recovered! I thought my wife recovered too. She did not! She could not feel the physical pain subside. People asked her how “I” was doing, not her. They complimented me on MY recovery, not hers. She was left with the constant worry and a lack of emotional release. She was still in pain, even though I was not. Then came the day when someone asked HER “How are YOU doing?” She released a torrent of emotions, before she could say ” I am still a cancer patient and I can’t seem to find a cure” Once that came out, I realsized just how far down, the emotions of cancer take the caregiver. I stopped trying to protect her from my feelings and she threw hers on the table too. Long frank conversations followed and we shared everything about the experience. Rather that tear us apart, we found amazing strength togehter. So…. Here is to the caregiver! Never may we forget that they have been diagnosed with cancer tooo! We may want to know all about OUR situation, but they are suffering with us and need to find a cure too. I know there is a catagory for caregivers and support. But this thread is for the cancer patient. Let US NEVER forget that we need to be ever vigilent of the Most important person on earth. They are being selfless, we need to stop being so selfish and wrapped into ourselves. This story too, can have a happy ending.

    I just thought we ought to give a HUGE Hug to those who suffer right along with us!

    George Kline


    Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
    Light a man ON fire and he’s warm forever.

    08/08/08…RC neo bladder
    09/09/09…New Hip
    =
    New Man! [/size]

    Leigh replied 15 years, 3 months ago 7 Members · 6 Replies
  • 6 Replies
  • leigh's avatar

    leigh

    Member
    November 10, 2009 at 11:09 am

    Dear George,

    Here here!!

    Thank you for writing this post….

    Of course thanks to all you caregivers too!!

    Leigh


    Leigh, 39
    Dx July 2007
    TURBT July 2007
    RC/Neobladder ,Studer Pouch, September 2007
    Erasmus Centrum Rotterdam
    TNM Classification: pT4 N2 Mo
    4 cycles aduvant chemo Gemzar & Cisplatinum
  • julie's avatar

    julie

    Member
    November 10, 2009 at 4:55 am

    Well said George and so true that cancer happens to both the survivor and the caregiver. She made a big difference for your recovery and you both are blessed to be closer than ever. Julie


    Volunteer Coordinator
    ABLSC
  • vgau's avatar

    vgau

    Member
    November 9, 2009 at 9:41 pm

    How lucky you were to have such support and BRAVO to you for recognizing her importance.


    Dx 10/5 Non Invasive Papillary
  • cynthia's avatar

    cynthia

    Administrator
    November 9, 2009 at 8:12 pm

    What great timing I got something today that lead me to the discovery that this is National Caregivers Month.

    Here is a link to

    Top 10 Ways to Celebrate National Family Caregivers Month 2009

    http://www.nfcacares.org/national_family_caregiver_month/top_10_ways_to_celebrate.cfm

    By the way thanks for writing this George. I can’t even put into words what Ed has done and been for me through all of this. I can honestly say my love and respect for him are boundless. I also had my other stand in caregivers, I am a very lucky woman.


    Cynthia Kinsella
    T2 g3 CIS 8/04
    Clinical Trial
    Chemotherapy & Radiation 10/04-12/04
    Chemotherapy 3/05-5/05
    BCG 9/05-1-06
    RC w/umbilical Indiana pouch 5/06
    Left Nephrectomy 1/09
    President American Bladder Cancer Society
  • mmc's avatar

    mmc

    Member
    November 9, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    Great post George! Very well said.

    My wife and I also became much closer through all of this.
    My hat is off to all caregivers.

    Mike


    Age 54
    10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
    9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
    10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
    2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
    9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
    1/2014 ct scan results….distant mets
    2/2014 ct result…spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph system

    My opinions are my own and do not reflect the opinion of ABLCS or anyone else. I am not a doctor nor do I play one on TV.
  • Gordon's avatar

    Gordon

    Member
    November 9, 2009 at 7:21 pm

    Well said, George. We had the advantage ( :dry: ) of having gone through my wife’s breast cancer together before I had bladder cancer. Nonetheless, what you say is true for us as well ~ in spades!

    Hugs for all,

    Gordon


    age 70
    Dx 10/03
    neobladder 9/4/04

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