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Feeling like I’m living a quadruple life; decisionmaking’s tough
Hi, everybody — Well, I’m feeling a little overwhelmed right now. Here’s the thing
about a quadruple life: (1) My health and treatment, (2) My family life, (3) my
profession (4) my obligations as a taxpayer — Argh!!!Since I’ve been to M.D. Anderson, I am trying to learn a new system to get appointments, etc. Nobody knows me yet. I don’t know the “informal rules.”
I really need to have my next appointments set so I can deal with family and
professional obligations. Wish me luck after Easter Weekend. Last week, no replies.Also, I caught a cold two weeks ago — I hadn’t had one in years! Now, I’m
worried about how having a cold will interact with my lung mets and what
symptoms I should call a doctor about and what dr. (primary care, local
oncologist or???) I should call. I have a cough — not big from my
perspective but I do cough up a little yellow mucus sometimes.In June and July — right when I’ll be back in chemo (combo to be determined, but
I’m told it will be strong medicine) my nephew graduates, I’m supposed to meet
my son’s fiancee’s parents and then there’s the wedding in July. Of course, I
want to know when the cycles are expected to start and finish ( knowing there
can be setbacks and delays).Work should be ok. I handled the next trip to Houston with my chair and human
resources.But I have no idea how I’ll get the taxes done this year. We do work with
an accountant, but I don’t even know how to get everything together this year.
I know we can extend, but there needs to be a good estimate even to do that.
My husband kept the household finances together for four months while I was
in Boston. That had always been my job. I’m still having trouble finding stuff.
Not that I’m organized, but I can work with my own disorder. How do we handle
medical deductions if most expenses are paid by insurance? (Accountant’s wife is
battling kidney cancer, too.)Thanks for any ideas on any of this. I know we all have pretty complex lives!
Susan
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14 Replies
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Hi Susan,
I just want to let you know I keep you in my prayers daily…I’ve read all your posts and just wanted to tell you lots of people are behind you.
Hugs,
Marie
(RC Jan 18/08) -
Susan,
I agree that prayer is primary care!! :) I just wish I had more words of wisdom. I’m glad you are feeling a little better. -
Thank you all — Julieann, hey! from where I’m sitting prayer is primary care.
I’m not feeling so out of control as I was week ago. A couple of things have
fallen into place (my next appointments in Houston are made, a friend has agreed
to go there with me). I’ve also had a couple of nice experiences — I got to hold a week old baby today and she seemed very comfortable with me — I got to represent
one of the universities I’ve attended in the inauguration of a university president and got to sit at a table with very interesting people. In the inauguration situation, though, (and in many others these days) I feel as if I am Passing for Well. It is not a hard act to carry off — I feel pretty well and look pretty
normal — still, I feel a bit inauthentic.Wishing all well — Susan
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Susan,
I don’t know what to say except that I don’t know how you do it all. Your strength amazes me. I wish I had something of worth to offer, but all I can really offer are my thoughts and prayers. Big huge help huh? :D -
Susan I found this link interesting if you would like to check it out wishing you the best. Joe
http://www.freemoneyfinance.com/2006/01/tax_implication.html
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Thank you all for helpful insights and information. I’m still feeling as if I’m treading water in a whirlpool, but thanks for the practical information and support.
I made a couple of tentative decisions. I’ll try again with the scheduler at MD A. this week. I guess I’ll wait and see about the cough — any mucus is clear now but the little to moderate cough remains. Sound ok?
I’ll just pick out a day soon to get going on taxes. I did not have 7.5 %+ unreimbursed medical expenses, so I guess I don’t have to deal with that realm.
Appreciatively and in haste — Susan
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Aha…i found the rub…….to claim medical deductions your expenses must exceed 7.5% of your adjusted gross income. Pat
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Susan, we were not able to use medical deductions until we started paying the total cost of our health insurance. That is when the numbers got high enough as you can only deduct over a percentage of your gross income. That is when we kept track of mileage and dental and vision care.
It is difficult to know what symptoms are significant enough to check with the doctor. Sometimes a cold is just a cold and at others it become bronchitis or pneumonia. I used to err on the side of waiting but now when Dick runs a fever off he goes to see the Dr. Roughly if a cold doesn’t resolve in two weeks it is not a cold.
Volunteer Coordinator
ABLSC
[quote author=Patricia link=topic=1967.msg14737#msg14737 date=1206226332]
Sorry Warren i should have said when i cough up yellow or green mucus it almost always means an infection..usually secondary to the cold they won’t treat. I kind of have a different slant on antibiotics. [/quote]
No need to apologize, Pat. You are so well read, and your responses always intelligent. We pediatricians see a lot of green mucus that doesn’t deserve antibiotic treatment, so I just wanted to throw my slant onto your advice since I’m sure others on the forum respect your advice as much as I do.
-Warren
TaG3 + CIS 12/2000. TURB + Mitomycin C (No BCG)
Urethral stricture, urethroplasty 10/2009
CIS 11/2010 treated with BCG. CIS 5/2012 treated with BCG/interferon
T1G3 1/2013. Radical Cystectomy 3/5/2013, No invasive cancer. CIS in right ureter.
Incontinent. AUS implant 2/2014. AUS explant 5/2014
PediatricianSorry Warren i should have said when i cough up yellow or green mucus it almost always means an infection..usually secondary to the cold they won’t treat. I kind of have a different slant on antibiotics. Pat
[quote author=Patricia link=topic=1967.msg14730#msg14730 date=1206207410]
if your mucus is yellow it probably means infection and you should be on an antibiotic…i would contact your primary care physician and alert your oncologist.
[/quote]I can’t quite agree that yellow mucus means infection. If you’re coughing up discolored mucus from your lungs… YES, that’s a BIG DEAL. But often the mucus is from the upper respiratory tract, and since dried to thickened mucus really does have a greenish color, that alone should not be used as the criterion for deciding on antibiotics treatment. We all pay the price in decreased effectiveness of antibiotics when colds are treated with antibiotics, and there is no benefit.
That having been said, I fully agree that your primary care physician should evaluate any symptom you find uncomfortable, frightening, or out of the ordinary. He/She can then decide if your oncologist needs to be involved… although if it is anything more than a cold, I would ask that your oncologist be informed.
-Warren
TaG3 + CIS 12/2000. TURB + Mitomycin C (No BCG)
Urethral stricture, urethroplasty 10/2009
CIS 11/2010 treated with BCG. CIS 5/2012 treated with BCG/interferon
T1G3 1/2013. Radical Cystectomy 3/5/2013, No invasive cancer. CIS in right ureter.
Incontinent. AUS implant 2/2014. AUS explant 5/2014
PediatricianHi Susan,
I don’t have much in the way of answers :( However, I can share how I keep my medical expense stuff together…
1. I keep a little calenderbook for mileage..I just write where on the correct day. I calculated milage on mapquest. Then I just tally the monthly miles in a breif sitting.
2. I am sure to write checks to pay med bills that are deductible. I highlight the payments and keep the old ledger in the med expense file so that is easily tallied either monthly or year end.
3. All my prescriptions come from 1 pharmacy so I get a print out from them every January. I also do this with my hubbys drs as he sometimes pays copays with debit card.
And that is how I do that. :)
Please take care of yourself and put your health top of the list, God Bless, Holly
Iam so sorry to hear about all the things you are trying to juggle! and I wish I had a easy answer to help, but all I can say is to not stress yourself! The most important thing to staying strong is taking time for yourself! Let some of those things just fall in place, if they are not how you plan, overlook it! You need to worry about yourself 1st and foremost! I know its hard,,, when my mom was very sick in the hospital all she could think about was US! She wanted us to be comfortable when we spent the nights with her, she was worried about if we were taking care of our households,,, but the only one thing we were concerned about was HER! She was are rock and all we wanted was her, the things around dident quite compare to her health! Please remember that Iam sure you mean the same to your family and just relax! Watch a lifetime movie and try to 4get your worries!
With Loving thoughts
CherylWell your plate is full and i can’t really help with the priorities….but i do know if your mucus is yellow it probably means infection and you should be on an antibiotic…i would contact your primary care physician and alert your oncologist.
As for the medical expenses and taxes…well the government has all the loopholes pretty much covered. I was so good about saving all receipts for medical supplies and my out of pocket expenses for surgery , supplies, and hotel rooms….it just didn’t make a piddly bit of difference according to my tax preparer so i don’t even bother with it anymore. Even my travel to all the second opinions and expenses related to that didn’t make a difference. Now i maybe have a lousy CPA and if yours finds something let me know.
Hope you get some answers next week on scheduling…..PatSign In to reply.
