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Doesn’t seem like stage 4
This is my second post, just need a little help is all. Does anyone elses loved one seem maybe like thay don’t really have cancer? My mom is driving herself to radiation treatments!! I keep telling myself that maybe in my mind I am over reacting. I feel like a bad daughter because I am not doing it. I am a stay at home mom with two boys 4 and 3, I live about 35 minutes away. She does make me her pit stop but I mean my mom has made the firtst two cancers a walk in the park, the last was a radical cystectomy, which afterwards she lived with me for a short time. I have read the statistics, does anyone else out there have a long time survivor of this????????? I am holding onto hope, faith, anything. I am only 27. I did schedule a big Christmas breakfast just like my mom use to make, my sister and brother will be there, my mom has noooo idea, just in case , you know. I am trying soo hard to stay positive, any thoughts or comments would greatly be appreciated. Thank you :)
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3 Replies
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Congratulations to your Mom! I hope she continues to feel good and keep going. I have stage IV and just stopped looking at the odds. Most of the people I work with have no clue I’ve ever been sick. I encourage you to indulge as you always would but let her have her normal life back.
You’re such a dear daughter to care so much how to handle this time.
Ann
RC/Indiana Pouch September 2004
Diag. Stage IV; 4 mo of Chemo
Clear MRI’s since
Doessn’t sound to me like you’re being bad at all. It’s great that your mum is driving herself to hospital as long as she feels ok doing it. I had my RC 8 weeks ago after 14 years with BC and, although I’m not in your mums situation as far as stage 4 is concerned, I can appreciate the need to stay independent and “normal”. That said, I was doing things post-op that I shouldn’t have been in the need to stay “normal”! Sometimes it’s hard to ask for help. If people around me just made it really clear that they would help if I asked, that made me feel ok about asking. I’m sure you are telling her that.
I also think it’s really important to try and stay positive when you can and try and stay in the present and not some imagined future. Which is pretty hard sometimes! There’s always good reason to hope.
Best Wishes
Many times it’s not the cancer that makes people look and feel sick but the treatments! I”m a breast cancer survivor, and remember saying to the doctors a few months post-op and during treatments (radiation and hormonal chemos), “I felt fine until I came here and got treatment!” and the doctor replied, “That’s what they all say.” Not exactly funny… but sort of true.
You should be extra thankful your mother is in good shape because that makes treatments easier, and she’ll tend to stay healthier…there’s something called a Karnofsky score and it’s a scale of 1-10 that defines peoples’ performance score, how active they are. The higher the score, the better survival people get. Your mother sounds as if she’d score 100%, and that’s a very good thing.
A series of 9 radiation treatments won’t give any bad side effects, but should definitely shrink the cancer. Do you know what kind of chemo drugs she’s going to recieve? Some are easier to handle than others, but your mother sounds like one of those people who might just get through without difficulties. There are always ways to combat side effects before they get too bad, as well.
That’s great you’re planning to take over some of her holiday preparations..I wish the second generation in our family would start, as me and my older sisters are getting too nutty about it all! We’re between 50 and 60, I find the older we get, the more stressful organizing get-togethers becomes. I’m sure she will be thankful to see a tradition being carried out by you this year.
Please stay positive! This isn’t the time to be morbid, but to be supportive and yes, hopeful…and keep the faith too. I know how hard it can be when you’re worried about someone you love, there’s nothing worse. But that won’t help her OR you.
There are people out there who really do beat the odds and get many years of quality time after a dx of metastatic cancer, I’ve met them. She might fall into that category, I hope so for you.
All the best,
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