Jeff
I’m in UK so some of this may not apply but I use some of the basic nappy rash creams if you’re talking urinary irritation with particular mention to Sudacrem (an icky and sticky but highly effective zinc based barrier cream which seems pretty much universal), Drapolene which is a slightly kinder and more soothing cream specified for adult urinary dermatitis (also anticeptic) and a pure (well 97%!) aloe vera gel for soothing purposes. I found I had to experiment with what suited me best and was very sparing with some of these to begin with in case I had a reaction.
Pads (I’m a man I add here!) in UK I use are Tena Ladies (!) and Depends pull ups for nighttime.
I’m sure some folks on here will add to this list. Some ladies would probably be more useful! You’ll find the best through trial and error. Took me a while to find night pants that keep the bed dry but I’m 100% confident in my current brand
Take care
Tim