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  • As written on hospital charts by Doctors!

    Posted by on February 11, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    I found this on another site – hope they don’t mind me posting it here! I t really made me laugh! :woohoo:

    1. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

    2. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

    3. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

    4. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

    5. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

    6. Discharge status: Alive but without my permission.

    7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

    8. The patient refused autopsy.

    9. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

    10. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

    11. Patient’s medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

    12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

    13. She is numb from her toes down.

    14. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

    15. The skin was moist and dry.

    16. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

    17. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

    18. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

    19. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

    20. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

    21. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

    22. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

    23. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

    24. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stock broker instead.

    25. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

    26. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

    27. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

    28. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

    29. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.:woohoo: :woohoo:

    Julie replied 15 years, 5 months ago 7 Members · 7 Replies
  • 7 Replies
  • Julie

    February 14, 2009 at 6:48 am

    Couldn’t stop laughing.

    Volunteer Coordinator
  • momof4

    February 13, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    :) so funny!

    Caregiver for my Wonderful Husband Angelo, who has Metastatic Bladder Cancer.

    Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

  • Moonerj

    February 13, 2009 at 5:39 pm

    So Funny!:woohoo: :woohoo: :) :)

    TA Grade 1
    3 Turbts
    30 BCG Treatments
    Cancer Free since Nov 2007
  • Guest
    February 13, 2009 at 5:19 pm

    Well i’m sure there is at least a six week course on how to write illegibly.

  • pemquid

    February 13, 2009 at 3:51 pm

    I sent this to one of my cousins who’s a doctor (pediatric neurologist), and she loved it. Here’s what she said:

    I roared…… whoever said that sentence structure, or even spelling, was part of the entrance exam to med school?

    Small TA Grade 1, May-06; recur (2 tiny), same, June-08; TURBTs both times. BCG begun July-08, dosage to 1/3rd May-10, completed treatment December-11. All clear since 2008.
  • Stephany

    February 13, 2009 at 3:23 am

    laughing until tears came!

    thank you thank you thank you

    Stephany in Iowa

  • flamenco

    February 11, 2009 at 9:00 pm

    Really funny !! Especially no 22, am still laughing !!

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