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Advice Needed for aging parent with SBC
I need some advice regarding my aging dad who has superficial bladder cancer. He (82y) lives alone on 5 acres of rural property without nearby neighbors & 2 hours away from me or my brother. The nearest hospital is 30 miles away and there is limited 911 service. Occassionally someone may drop by to check on him, but he is fiercely independent and suspicious. He is ambulatory, but is moving much slower these days. He has a history of falls, unrelated to seizures or low BP. I think he is falling due to peripheral vascular disease and the weakness associated with aging and lack of activity. He is very HOH and wears hearing aids (can’t hear on the phone). For the summer, he has agreed to live with me, while he receives intravesicle chemoRx. But he insist on going home “if I can’t get any better.” He is refusing to go to a nursing home or assisted living facility. Since my mom passed away 3 yrs ago, he has no other family and sees no real purpose in life. He has said to me several times in the last week, “I want to die at home.” I am very concerned about leaving him alone, but he is competent to make his own decisions. I am wrestling with moral, ethical, and legal dilemmas. Any suggestions would be welcomed.
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1 Reply
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Becky,
I read your post a while back, but honestly, don’t have any advice. I know that you are in a tough situation, but it is such a personal decision about whether to override your parents’ wishes in order to do what is right and obviously in his best interests.My neighbor across the street is both blind and deaf and 93 but too stubborn to accept any offers of help. Her doctor said that her stubborness has got her this far. How can you argue with that? However, it leaves those who are concerned (esp. the children) in a vigilant but helpless position.
Good luck to you. Hope you’ll keep us posted.
Rosemary
Age – 55
T1 G3 – Tumor free 2 yrs 3 months
Dx January 2006Sign In to reply.
