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2 days til surgery,a wifes compassion
After reading some recent concerns by Mike and others about this journey to wellness I think its important to keep everything in perspective. With surgery coming for us on Friday, as a wife I can only feel strong compassion and concern for my husband. I have been so fortuneate to find this forum, I see in my husband a man who worked as an engineer for 32 years, is a loving father and papa, but being faced with this is a real blow to his manhood. Personally I feel we can make it through anything and I am determined to make sure he knows this. Sometimes on the forum some get beyond what the forum is for. This forum is to promote strong advise to those in need and to be behind them with the support of the group. Support!!!
I look forward to posting after his surgery as I will be past the fear that we now are experiencing. With all the prayers from friends and family I can only believe I will be posting good news on Gene’s recovery. On a personal note we as a couple have always had a strong sexual relationship. I am finding any threat to that as being minimal. A hug can go a long way for some. It seems love has many sides. Not always physical….the good news is I have no plans to hit the bar scene because of lack of nooky!!!! Nor will I need any mechanical devises! I will have my husband and my family!!!Thanks, Joe, Wendy,Pat, Zack, Karen, any all who have helped us through this so far.. -
5 Replies
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Gene,
Looking forward to your posting on how your spouse is doing after surgery. You have come to the best place possible for support. I am now eight weeks post surgery and feeling better every day…will keep you two in my prayers. My spouse and I also have had a very active sexual relationship, so that is something we also are having to manage in a new and different way, but where there is a will, there is a way. We will find it. Take care. Melodie
Melodie, Indy Pouch, U.W.Medical Center, Seattle, Dr. Paul H. Lange & Jonathan L. Wright
Gene, I admire your strengh and devotion. Best of luck to your husband and you in the up coming surgery. I know we all get stuck in the details as a way of avoiding the larger issues.
Stay strong and let us know how things turn out.
Mike
Michael
Age 58
Stage T2-T3, muscle invasive
Married to Eileen
2 sons, ages 20 and 23
Ginger,
You and your husband are in my prayers. My wife has been my rock. She never waivered to support my needs (even when I may have only worried about my needs instead of any of hers).
The spouse is so big in insuring recovery is smooth. Your husband is in good hands.The sex thing will be different. My wife and I do not think it is bad, just different. The drive to be affectionate did not change for me, only the method of how to show affection.
Keep the faith and possitive attitude, you will be able to lean on it when the times are hard.
Rick
Hi Ginger,
Your husband is lucky. I’m also a lucky wife, as my husband has never minded the fact I only have one boob and didn’t go for reconstruction. I know of many women who agonized over “losing” their femininity, getting lumpectomies and reconstruction. It has never been important to me and thankfully, my husband either. In fact, post-cancer made me less inhibited than I was before. Maybe related to ‘relief’ and not sweating the small stuff (well…small, small, actually it was quite a large breast I lost).
I hope that every couple is as lucky as we have been, with the cancer bringing us closer.
Wendy
Ginger everything will be fine and your just like my wife she was there every step of the way. Even days I felt I was ok to drive into the city she would not allow it and she was my angel thru this journey. But from the get go I was and told her I was going to try and do everything in my power to beat this and I am a very lucky man. Yep the sexual part has changed but just right now to be cancer free and give her a great big hug and still be able to see my 3 sons 19,28,30 and 2 grandkids both 5 yrs old a boy and a girl what a blessing. My prayers are out for you and your husband and it will take some time but everything as I mentioned will all work out. Tell your husband I said good luck. Joe ;)
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