Thanks to all who replied to me. I rejoice for those of you who have found someone you can trust to stick by you after suffering with someone who didn't.
Like you, Lauren, I do mention bladder cancer when I am dating someone, before the relationship gets too far along. But I don't think it really registers with them until the cancer is active.
I was thinking of having the words "I have cancer" tatooed on my forehead so the cowards can run when they see me coming and save us both some grief. Ok, just kidding.
My problem now is a total lack of trust, because this has happened to me time and time again. I don't want to grow old and die alone, but I have no desire to put myself out there again, just to be kicked when I'm down. I don't have money for private therapy, and have been calling the local cancer support center, but their therapists seem to mostly work during the day, just like me. I can't believe this has hit me as hard as it has, but it has, and I do need to do something about it.
Connie