I suspect that your husband is very discouraged and maybe even clinically depressed. And for good reason...he has been through a lot.
However, I would agree with Alan (I usually do!) that BCG, while not a lot of fun, is certainly do-able. And, if he doesn't do BCG, a diagnosis of CIS means that he is heading straight for bladder removal or worse, and that is definitely not something he wants.
I was able to get through the entire series of BCG treatments, although at a reduced dose by the end of the maintenance series. My main side effects were fatigue...and I suspect this was not just from getting up at night, burning, and frequency. However, CIS also causes many of these symptoms; by the time I was through with the treatments I was almost completely back to normal. I have had friends who have gone through traditional chemotherapy and I would do BCG ten times before I would do that!! Other than the afternoon of the treatments, I was able to lead a normal life doing all the activities and jobs that needed to be done. I consider that BCG probably saved my life. And it was well worth a few days' discomfort once and a while.
I, too, have had multiple different cancers (breast, bladder, and malignant melanoma) and honestly feel that I have more than paid my dues to the cancer gods! But thank goodness I am still here.
I would encourage your husband to at least try the BCG. IF the side effects are too much for him he can always quit...and will have the advantage that even a few treatments can give him. It is well worth it
Sara Anne