Here's wishing you the best Christmas present of all..... A Clear margin! And a firm road to recovery. You Deserve it
During my recovery, my wife came to me after I returned some business calls that were taxing and said, "It is time you became a little selfish and thought about yourself. You are Allowed to wallow in yourself for a while and, as long as you get back on the horse and keep foaused...... A short depression is OK"
Best of luck
Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.
08/08/08...RC neo bladder
New Man! [/size]
Don't ever think you are whining here. The great thing about this site is that we can bring our worries here anytime.
You've come through quite a storm with this latest development and subsequent surgery. I think it would be near impossible not to feel down at times. Sometimes we have to acknowledge our "dark moments" and come to terms with those thoughts, then try to let them go by focusing on the people and things in our lives are as important to us as we are to them.
I see your sense of humor is definitely intact. SWMBO will keep you on the straight and narrow. How lucky you are to have her and your daughter in your life, and you in theirs.
I hope your chemo continues to go well. Your friends you spoke of are just going to have to wait a lot longer for you to join them!
Best wishes... Catherine
Forum Moderator Team
TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Well, I haven't posted in a while. Depression hit. The last cysto went up the ureter, a mass was taken for biopst. Wound up with a T1 cancer. Recommendation to remove the kidney and ureter. did I wait to long with the conservative treatment?
The surgeon wasn't available for four weeks, so the urologist recommended a short course of mytomycin. Then surgeon (who I like to call the butcher) gutted me like a dead fish (appropriate with my last name, Bass) using the DaVinci torture device.
Surgery went well, slightly longer to be freed than planned (six days). When I went in for post op appointment, he told me that the lession was T3, pappilary, and went through the ureter but a clear margin. the recommendation was a courese of chemo. The Medicial Oncologist (AKA the Poisener) gave me thourough talk about the procedure. He acknowledged that no one knows (and there is no way of knowing) if this is needed, no way of knowing if it worked, chemicals being used are not effective against bladder cancers. But this group is reputed to be the best in the area so I do what they say (mostly).
I guess I earned the right to have a minor depression. My wife (also known as SWMBO or She Who Must Be Obayed) does not let me get too deep, The Child (18) did not give me time to depress, but it's there. The Child returned overseas after finding out that I have a chance of living.
Just started the first round of chemo. I realize that this is the first time that I really feel that I'm fighting cancer. The major side effect is supposed to be nausea, gave me some injection against it and two pills (one of which I'm supposed to take, the other as needed. A day later and no nasuea.
I'm afraid that I'm whining a bit too much. I know the survival rate at this point is still rather high. If there is till cancer in the bladder, it can always go and there are good alternatives there. I'm not down now, too much to live for, there's always heaven to look forward to, and if that fails, I get to be with all my friends.
Well, I bid a fond farewell to my kidney. The operation was done by one of the top kidney suregeons in the area, a davinci operation so smaller holes. I think there were some complications as I was told the surgery was eight and a half hours.. The cancer in the ureter (pT3)was into the peri-ureteral soft tissues. This seems to be from January so it grew fast. Another focus was found in the renal pelvis, again a high grade carcinoma.
I had little pain in the hospital. One morning I asked for pain pill. The nurse gave me morphine instead of the tylenol with codiene I was used to. The morphine is known to stop peristalisis. I was in for five days because of a delay in moving bowels.
Anyone having this kind of work, get out of bed as soon as pain allows and walk around. One of the doctos said ten steps at a time is enough, four or five times a day. It's pain juggeling the IV pole, the JP drain, and the catheter bag but it can be done.
The surgeon said the margins were clean, but I have to go to a medical oncolgist to have some chemotherapy. This scares me more than the surgery. But my feeling from what he said was that this is just a precautionary thing.
I'm home now, two weeks after the operation and feel almost no pain. I'm sleepy all the time and little stamina, but I'm looking forward to Thanksgiving with my family. Lots to give thanks for. Wife, child is home for a few more weeks, cancer is probably gone. Not too much to complain about.
Bad news. The cancer in the ureter returned. Under the epithelium. There is a spot of CIS in the3 bladder. The urologist/oncologist recommends removing the kidney and ureter. The cancer is too high to remove and attach to the bladder. I see the surgeon in two weeks to find out when they can do the thing. They will remove it laproscopically.
I'm busily reading what I can expect. I know it will not be a walk in the park, but doesn't seem too much to bear. At least they are not talking about losing the bladder as well. He says I've had too many BCGs and will have to have Mitomycin for the CIS.
My wife is more upset than I am, my daughter is overseas and really freaking out. I am not happy losing a kidney, but what must be will be.