So the journey continues ... I got through the six weeks of initial BCG and had my 3-month cysto yesterday. This was my first cystoscopy since having two TURBTs and BCG. My uro told me that CIS can show up as red spots, but he also expected to see redness at the site where the tumor was removed. So I was not surprised to see some red spots in the former tumor site, and my uro said he saw nothing that would prompt him to go in for a biopsy.
In other words, it was clear. I had about 30 seconds of euphoria as I left the doctor's office, and then I started to realize that I have to go through this again in 3 months, how uncomfortable the whole process is, three more weeks of BCG coming up in April, and the realization that it's never going to be over hit me. Boom -- euphoria gone.
I called a few family members and found myself saying "it was clear, but ...." Why couldn't I just enjoy the good news instead of focusing on the negative?
Has anyone else experienced this?
