susan, hey your not a complainer,and this is the place to let it all out,Id just like to see you a lil happier about where your at, take care and good luck:) I dont think we are rewarded for fittness other than as tough as things can get it would be so much worse if ones fittness level wasnt good,and being fit is good for mind so keep active you arebetter off because of it.
I'll be ok, and I am happy most days and don't think of it much. Just like my diabetes and heart problems. Not much I can do but try.
I do go out everyday or keep busy around the house with my animals and my hobbies. I also am better shape now than ever. i think that is what makes me mad at times. i worked hard to get in good shape and i am rewarded with bladder cancer
But I will try not to be a complainer. Sometimes i just get scared.
Susan , I to can feel just as bad about this whole thing as you, but only on the days I choose to.I ve found that for me if I get out every day and live it up every min, I dont even think of it at all, like I jump rope walk run ride my bike play tennis swim,sometimes all in one day:) crazy right , but I feel best those days , and days I rest those are the days I might think of this thing usually its some one saying how are you feeling in that you poor thing voice , I know they are being kind, but look Im in better shape than most 55 year olds I was in good shape befor dx but now I work harder and Im stronger now when Im tired Im pretty sure its because its because of what Ive done and not from something going on inside of me.I can have those worry days if I allow them so bad I pee in white cups so I can see the undiluted urine better. thats crazy too:laugh: its all what we make of it. I just dont want to waste my time , worry is a waste, I try this sometimes its a worry exercise thik of something say a white cat. ok now stop.
I know,it took me quite a while to wrap my brain around the whole BC thing! One doctor actually said "Doctors used to say 'here comes long term money' because BC is a life long desease". Believe it or not, that actually made me feel better, because I know a lot of cancers that are swift and deadly. So, everytime I have to start BCG Maintenance, I am thankful that I don't have to do chemo (with drugs in our blood stream) and marvel that so far BCG is working . Rosemary is so right, as long as you feel you are doing all you can, it gives you a handle on the road ahead. Rosemary has helped me so much on my journey.
Just know, we are all with you - with BCG - and the good times of the all clear scopes!