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A Good Sense of Humor Helps!

13 years 7 months ago #1745 by lhpdogs
I do have alot of nice co-workers who ask me "when's your next scan?" I only go every six months, so people pretty much forget about it in between - I must admit, sometimes, when I'm around people who never stop complaining about what's wrong with them, I've been known to slip it into a conversation just to shut them up.... ;D

What do you do about dating, folks? I am just starting to date again, after a very painful divorce (I'm 47).... when do you tell someone? Do you get pretty much "into" each other, and then "oh by the way, i have cancer, I'll probably have it the rest of my life, but no biggie.."? Do you think it might be fair to tell them sooner, just in case they don't want to date someone with a time bomb ticking over their heads? I know that I think positively, but not sure if a guy who is looking for a long-term relationship is going to think positively, or decide it's not worth the potential hassle or loss or whatever...


TaG1 12/05
3 recurrences
BCG started 9/09

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13 years 7 months ago #1734 by Angela
This post is a great idea! Thanks SurferNYC2006 for starting it - it's very therapeutic and funny to say the least. We've all had our share of stupid comments, and it does help to laugh through the tears.

I crack up at "the whiperers". Having blc doesn't mean I'm sensitive to noise - you can speak in at a normal volume. And, don't worry - if you use a normal volume, it won't startle me so much that I pee myself!

I get tired of people telling me, "You look great for having cancer"... or "No one would ever guess you had cancer". What do I need a sign on my forehead or something that says, "I had cancer"? But, in their defense...before I was diagnosed I too had the naive opinion that everyone with cancer probably feels, looks, acts, etc. sick. Of course, some times we do feel, look and get sick, but cancer isn't an automatic whack with the ugly stick or anything!

One of my favorite annoying comments is, "Do you need to pee or have you peed today"? Maybe I'll invent a bumper sticker that says, "Have you peed today"? ;D

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13 years 7 months ago #1731 by star
OH MY WORD. I was told the same thing"YOU GOT THE GOOD CANCER"
people are so fickle. I went to get a hair doo fist time in like years and was asked why a perm if your hair is going to fall out??? you have a man's cancer. Wow you look great for being sick-um like how? Can you work before your apt today? WHISPERS IS THE BEST. 'SOFTLY-HOW ARE DOING???WHY ARE YOU WHISPERING? UM I have broccoli or califlower depending on what the scope says that shuts them up. I have had people say 'WELL IT'S NOT LIKE BREAST CANCER" YOUR NOT AS BAD OFF- yeah that is nice of you.{day after my first tumor surgery someone called and said that while I laid there with a cath flowing with blood.}
Many say well see smoking got you no where-yep and thanks for thought.
You need extra breaks to go to the rest room? SURE IF YOU WANT ME TOO I'll pratice washing my hands. LOL to this. I think it needs to be pushed like "other cancers" I guess that is why we are all here-awareness to others. :P STAR

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13 years 7 months ago #1726 by survivor
On learning about my cancer , before I started my chemo,my colleague's reaction -> "Oh! My uncle had skin cancer..He died of recurrence just after 7 months of chemo. I dont think it helps." ( Gee ! that helps ")

Kidney Transplant 1998
Upper Tract TCC, Dec 2004
Native kidney Right Nephroureterctomy Dec 2004
Non invasive bladder cancer,High Grade, Ta,TURB Jan 2012
Native kidney Left Nephroureterectomy Feb 2012

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13 years 7 months ago #1725 by lhpdogs
Well, I liked what my doctor said, when he called me the day after Christmas to tell me it was cancer... he immediately said "If I had to have ANY kind of cancer, this is the kind I would want.". I thought if he could say that, I wasn't going to hang up the phone and immediately start planning my funeral or looking for a wig, etc!. Of course, my first reaction was going to be "well, tell you what - you can have it!" 8-)

TaG1 12/05
3 recurrences
BCG started 9/09

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13 years 7 months ago #1714 by Rosie
We had a couple renting our duplex. When I told them I had just been diagnosed with bladder cancer, they looked at each other; became very quite then said: Our good friend died of bladder cancer. You will too. UGGG! My first "stupid" urologist, upon seeing the tumor in my bladder, before any TURB or pathology report. Said " I know why you have been bleeding on and off for four years, you have a malignant tumor. Unfortunately, as long as you have had that bleeding, cancer is probably throughout your entire urinary track. Then, motioning, he put his hands just below the chest and motion downward pass his belly button to indicate my entire urological track. On the other extreme, I had several say to me "oh, you'll be fine." The best reaction came from my daughter when I told her I had a tumor recurrence. Full of emotion and compassion she replied: THAT REALLY SUCKS! To this day, it is my favorite reply.

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