metastatic bone cancer

Hi Claire
I do hope your mom decides to go for the radiation,it is painless and it relieves the pain. my husbands cancer is also in the hip and pelvic area(other spots as well) he had 15 radiation treatments (one treatment only last about one minute) and within a short time he was able to walk without a cane and he felt so much better, just to have him comfortable was a blessing to me and to him too... I see by your post that the doctor did a cat scan and an x-ray. I do think you should ask the doctor to do a bone scan. ( it will show if the cancer is spread beyond the hip and pelvic) i wish you and your mom the best of luck.

Wendy, Thank you for your wise words. Claire

Hi Claire,
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this very serious situation with your mother. Somehow you need to convince her that radiation will not do any harm, does not hurt, won't make anything worse but in fact will improve her quality of life. The idea is to treat the pain caused by bone mets and keep it from getting worse, and perhaps even slow the process of deterioration. Let her know it's not an aggressive treatment, and causes no pain at all. The worst side effect is fatigue but that doesn't always happen (and it might be dose dependent, I'm not sure), and palliative radiation as opposed to curative would have less of an impact, would be lower dosage and less treatments.

Tell your mother that since the doctors are recommending this treatment so heavily you allowed them to set up the appointments. Then it will be her choice whether or not to actually show up, but get the appointments booked in any case, it might be easier to get her there that way. Ask her to at least try one or two treatments and if she find it awful in some way then at least she has been given the actual choice to go or not.

I wish you and your mother all the best,
Wendy

Hello, I am writing about my mother, 84. Five years ago, she underwent 4 surgeries for bladder cancer and the subsequent tests by the urologist were all good. A year or so ago my mother started having pain in her groin area. She thought she had pulled a muscle. An xray revealed a hairline fracture that we were told would heal on its own. The pain persisted and just recently a new doctor recommended a cat scan when a second xray revealed bone deterioration. The doctor just informed me that the cat scan revealed bone cancer in the hip and pelvis. My mother has said repeatedly that she does not want to undergo any more treatment; however, I have heard that radiation for bone cancer can be very effective. Due to my mother's age and mental state, my main concern is for her to be comfortable and as pain free as possible.
My questions for anyone with some words of wisdom are these:
Any suggestions on the best way to communicate this information to a frail person - shall I tell her or let the doctor tell her.
The doctor wants to set up appointments with an oncologist and for radiation. How should I proceed in light of the fact that we are not going to pursue the same treatment we would if she were younger.
What is the general prognosis for a progression of the cancer to the bone.
How best to spend what time she has left.
I have my own thoughts but am impressed by the wisdom and compassion of this group.
Many thanks, Claire
p.s. for those without metastic cancer, I would certainly be focusing on the whole body and not just the bladder. Like some of the other posts, I did not consider it spreading, don't recall the doctor saying anything. I feel bad about ignoring this pain in her goin. I also feel bad that when I contacted the urologist to inquire about the possibility of metastisis, I got no response.