It\'s been a while...

14 years 1 month ago #30115 by Mel09
Replied by Mel09 on topic It\'s been a while...
Thank you all for your kind thoughts. You are never far from my mind and my prayers.

We are having a girl!!! We are very excited for her to come. It is a little bit of hope in a somewhat bleak time. I am SO ready for her to be here already...I am due March 31.

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14 years 1 month ago - 14 years 1 month ago #29931 by Leigh
Replied by Leigh on topic It\'s been a while...
Dear Mel,

I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and your family during this trying time.

I hope you and your mum can find some peace to relax and think of yourselves a little more.

Wishing you all the very best with your focus on your new up and coming child......please do try to be happy for you own personal experience of motherhood...

Kind Regards
Leigh

Leigh, 39
Dx July 2007
TURBT July 2007
RC/Neobladder ,Studer Pouch, September 2007
Erasmus Centrum Rotterdam
TNM Classification: pT4 N2 Mo
4 cycles aduvant chemo Gemzar & Cisplatinum

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14 years 2 months ago #29872 by rabyrd
Replied by rabyrd on topic It\'s been a while...
Even though we don't 'know' each other, i think about you often. I knew that your due date was getting near. All we can do in life is focus on the good things and accept the sorrow that comes our way. sorry to hear that your dad's disease is progressing, but think about the joy he will have at being able to hold your baby!

Rebecca

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14 years 2 months ago #29869 by Rockyiss
Replied by Rockyiss on topic It\'s been a while...
Hi Melissa, It is not selfish that you don't want to hear the bad stuff, it is the Mom in you that somehow knows that you need to keep the stress levels down in your life to have a healthy baby ! A BABY ! Good for you ! My ten year old grandson is always reminding me of the cycle of life and you are doing very hard work carriing this baby.


Do you know what you are having ? Any names picked out ?
As you might have noticed I still don't know how to work all the buttons on my computor, no telling where the words end up or how to put them back. Don't feel guilty ! A baby ! I am sooo jealous .( just kidding ) Rocky

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14 years 2 months ago #29856 by Julie
Replied by Julie on topic It\'s been a while...
Mel, It is a difficult to take care of someone in pain who cannot help themselves. The weakness comes with the progression of cancer and all the strengthening exercises would not prevent this progression. My son found this hard to understand as he kept encouraging his father to do more but couldn't grasp that it was really beyond my husband to do more. The toll on caregivers and families is enormous. Your Mother is doing everything she can and more. I hope she has some help so she can get some relief. I had home health aids come in and help with bathing and dressing even though I could have done it but I really needed an hour or so a week for me.

I have recently found out that the stress of caregiving is harmful and will shorten lives. Please persuade your Mother to get some help in taking care of your Dad. When we accepted hospice I also asked for a volunteer for a couple of hours a week so I could go to church and the grocery store.
You're right this isn't fair and there isn't anything that will make it so. Unfortunately things will get worse than this so I hope your Mom will accept the idea of taking care of herself by getting some help. You need to focus on your pregnancy and I hope you are experiencing some joy in the process. A new life is a miracle. Julie

Volunteer Coordinator
ABLSC

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14 years 2 months ago #29841 by Mel09
It\'s been a while... was created by Mel09
I guess I have stayed away because I needed to avoid the reality of things for a while. I am now almost 8 months pregnant and am trying to be excited and happy for the changes that are happening in my life, but there is always this dark cloud.

I called my mother this morning and she is moving the bed downstairs for my father because it is too much for her to take him up and down. He is in a lot of pain in his bones and is so stubborn! My poor mother is having anxiety attacks and is so completely stressed out that I am afraid she is going to have a heart attack. I am so frustrated with him because when he could have helped himself by doing strengthening exercises, etc.. he didn't and now he is SO weak and depends on her for everything. He cannot even wipe himself. It is very sad and I feel bad when I call and she complains and I don't want to hear it. I know I should be more supportive but sometimes I just don't want to listen to it all. I know that is selfish. I know that he will not get any better but this is no life for anyone and it just isn't fair :(

Thanks for letting me vent.

Melissa

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