stage 4 metastatic bc

hi tdraisey..
I just read your last post and was wondering how your mom is doing? Did they discuss chemo with her at her apt. on the 2nd? best wishes to everyone!

My mom has finished radiation and we go to the oncologist on Jan 2 to see what's next. I am pretty sure my mom is having another PET scan, she had one about a month ago. It appears that the tumor has shrunk, it was visible since it is on her jaw. I guess then too we decide what chemo they will do. Hopefully the new year will bring new hope. May everyone have happy and healthy new year.

tdraisey,

My husband was a long time bladder cancer survivor -- diagnosed in 1995 w/ stage 3; his cancer metastized to his lungs in late 1997; he died in 2006. He had surgery, chemo, and radiation. He survived well past the 5 years given to him at the start of his disease.

Is radiation the only treatment your mom is having right now? It's difficult to make a generalization from what you have posted, but I will say that if she was in poor condition w/ 6 months or less to live, her doctor might have already referred her to a hospice program. You might want to find out if her treatment is palliative at this time. I would ask why she is not having chemo. Has she had PET scans to track her disease? A good talk with her doctor can answer many of your questions. Write them down beforehand.

No one can really say how much time anyone has; there are some generalities, of course. My husband stopped chemo in August 2005 (could no longer metabolize the drugs) and had 10 radiation treatments in January 2006 (to stop the bleeding in his lung tumor); he probably would have survived longer had he been able to continue chemo. In the end, he had cancer in his abdomen and probably his liver. But that doesn't really relate to your mom's cancer because hers has metastized to another part of her body; let's just say that my husband's urologist used to say that bladder cancer was "a nasty cancer."

I hope you were able to enjoy the holiday with your mom.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, we too believe in the power of positive attitudes. I too just can't seem to get past what the prognosis is. I think that my mom is very much in denial about the prognosis. I spoke with her dr's nurse and she told me that with radiation and chemo 1-2 yrs. I don't really know if that's typical. I am only 27 years old, I just can't believe that this is the path chosen. Anyhow, you and your husband will be in my prayers. Best of luck to you and your family, may the new year bring better and brighter outlooks to us all.

I just read your post on stage 4 bladder cancer. I'm so sorry to hear that.In august my husband age 45 was diagnoised with the same thing ,, his cancer also spread to his bones.(hip spine,ribs,and pelvic area) he had 15 radiation treatments (it decreased the pain alot) he is now doing chemotherapy (cisplatin and gemzar).we are very hopeful that these treatmets will prolong his life (maybe put the cancer in remission).. as you probably know there is no cure for stage 4 bladder cancer and the prognoises is not good ( I hate saying that because I can't bring myself to believe it) We believe in the power of a positive attitude and my husband has been feeling good for the last few months and he is in alot less pain I do wish your mom the best in what ever decissions she makes and just know that people here are praying for her and her family,, good luck and try and stay positive

Hi,
If your mother has been through hell that probably means you have also been through hell this past 4 years. When one family member gets cancer the rest suffer as well.

Haven't the doctors involved given your mother or the family a prognosis? Perhaps your mother does not want to hear. Doctors usually try to follow the lead of the patient when it comes to giving a prognosis for advanced cancer, and if the patient doesn't want to discuss it, the doctor might not discuss it with the family either-unless permission is given, and a family member is designated to discuss all the aspects of treatment and prognosis.

Have they outlined the possible complications of radiation and chemo? I doubt that 9 treatments of radiation would be enough to cause any ill side effects. A full course (which is something like 5-6 wks) would cause problems with jaw movement.

Chemos come in many shapes and sizes, meaning some drugs and drug combos are more toxic than others. Since the treatments are now palliative (meaning they will not cure, but relieve symptoms) hopefully the least aggressive regimen will be used.

Most chemo protocols for bladder cancer are combined drugs, these days Cisplatin and Gemzar are used most often because they're said to be less toxic than the old combos. Cisplatin is a very toxic drug, however. Sometimes Carboplatin is substituted for it because it's less toxic and almost as effective. This drug is often used when someone has kidney problems, and your mother would probably fit that bill, having only one kidney.

It's wise to find out what drugs the doctor is planning to use so you can prepare and have an idea of what's happening. Hospitals have info sheets they can hand out, which outline all the possible side effects and how to combat them. Get all the info you can, and if there's a social worker at the hospital, please look into getting some support not only for your mother but for yourself and the family. The stress of cancer treatments can be absolutely horrible for family members.

There's a rundown of most of the chemos and combos used here:
blcwebcafe.org/chemosused.asp and some related pages on how to deal while getting chemo.

I have met people over the years who have been treated with chemo and radiation for metastasized bladder cancer and the prognosis is hugely variable, as is response to chemo. First time users of chemo respond better than those who've had it before. Radiation is more straight forward and will almost definitely give immediate relieft and shrinkage. But I"m sorry to say that responses are temporary and metastasized TCC is usually aggressive.

Prognosis will depend on the general health, age and previous treatments. Chemo side effects can be cumulative, meaning they get worse with each treatment- usually but not always, and some people do not suffer from side effects at all.

Put the questions to the oncologist, the radiologist and the uro. If you need to, make an appt with the doctor in charge to have a frank discussion of what to expect, and permission from your mother to get that info (which she may, or may not, want to hear).

This is a very serious situation, and your mother needs you, so take care of yourself too, so that you can be there for her again during this time. Make the most of the time you have together. Have a look at the caregivers advice pages:
blcwebcafe.org/caregivers.asp

Hopefully your mother will be able to enjoy the coming holidays and celebrate the new year at home and not in the hospital, make that a goal.

I wish you and your family all the best,
Wendy