Julieanne,
Our emotions as we watch our parents decline are complicated to say the least. I remember one night my best friend while dealing with her Mom cried and said to me she just didn’t know what to pray for anymore. They are our parents keepers of our childhood, our hero’s, our shelter, and it changed they now need us. We may see the rest of the world through totally adult eyes’ but with our parents…… it is not so simple the emotions of the adult and child tug. And that is the way of the world it has always been that way between child and parent.
If you are conflicted can you imagine what your parents are feeling? Everything has changed for them they see the end of their independence coming. They are dealing with some very heavy issues not the least is their own mortality. And I imagine like most of their generation they are doing it without therapy or support they don’t talk a lot about it, they seem to just find a way to endure.
You are dealing with what many of us have or are dealing with as we get older; it is a very difficult journey to say the least. I have likened to your kids turning 18; you have no say no say in their actions but somehow you pay for them one way or the other. You will sleep with your hand half on the phone, dreading the moment when the other shoe will fall. If you have a sibling to share this with it helps and complicates it of course; and if you have siblings you know what I just said. You will also endure because you have no choice you are on the train for better or worse. But there will be minutes that you will never forget nor want too; make memories, say what you need to say to them and show them your love in small ways. We have found that what our parents wanted was for us to help them keep what was normal for them for as long as they could. Please come here and talk to us we know how hard this is, it can bring you to your knees, we are here for you. Keep us updated.