Hi all,
Well, I guess I have shattered the ice on the cold and icky subject of life with mets. Now I can get a dilema out here that I have been struggling with for a few months.
My dog Lightning is has been like a second child to me. She is a white sheppard weighing in at 120 pounds and almost 6 years old. Just before my son went to boot camp I aquired her as a 5 week old pup - she came from a litter of 10. She helped me get thru my son's deployment to Iraq - all gruelling 18 months of it. She has rode shot gun in my old pick up and my purple Mustang GT, too. But she has a big problem which has been coming to a head recently...
She has very little control of her bladder. I have had excellent vets examine her, done testing and tried various medications. We have been keeping her in the tiled kitchen where it is easier to keep cleaning up after her. Yet it is becoming a great burden. Soon the time will come when I will no longer be able to do all the clean up and decisions will have to be made...
As a women with bladder cancer - I feel very torn. Perhaps some would continue caring for her in her declining state without question. Maybe some would simply say "enough" and be done wether it means a farm or ..... But as a woman with bladder cancer I am acutely aware that her and I share in a sense a similar ailment. I feel like a monster if I find the stregnth to let go, and I judge myself harshly. If I stand adamant to keep her no matter what - am I being unfair to my family who will sometime be burdened with my decline as well. How can I force them into taking care of us both?
Maybe I am not looking at this clearly. Maybe there are other solutions - but my chemo brain can't find them. The matter will need to be handled soon.
I am hoping those with advanced invasive or mets can help me here. There are facets of this that make it complicated for me. I do appreciate the prayers and thoughts from others as I deal with this. God Bless, Holly
