This has been a difficult week. I am experiencing a lot of tears, anxiety and anger. Most of it aimed at Radiation Oncology. I phoned again yesterday and the plan was done, the Doctor had signed off but some body from Physics had to approve it. Today was day 15 when they had said 10 days (working) so really 3 weeks. All I could think of is how much is this thing spreading with the delay in getting started. I told Dick I had reached the limits of my patience. Finally this afternoon they phoned to say he can start Monday. When he asked how many sessions he was told they didn't know. The paperwork implies we will get a plan that states how many sessions at what setting etc. We did not get any of that. I am the kind of person who needs to know what is going on and why. They have left us totally in the dark and I am very upset about it. To deny care is the emotional equivalent of pulling a weapon on someone.
My knee is hurting and i have not had that before. This has been going on a couple of weeks and Tylenol and Ibuprofen don't fully control it. I phoned to get an appointment with an orthopedic specialist and it will be 2 weeks. This does not help my mood. Plus we arrive at the eye clinic for Dick to get a visual field test in preparation for seeing the eye doctor today to find out they have no record of an appointment for him. They do check the records and the Doctors notes say that he is to have a June appointment. I am holding my head and tearing up because I am so angry. I am one of those people who cry when angry more than when I'm depressed. Now I'm both. I didn't lose it then just when I spoke with Radiation Oncology later that day.
Miraculously they could do the test and the Dr. had a cancelation so everything worked out but by then the emotional damage to us had been done. The good news is his eye pressures are 11 and 13 so he won't need to have eye drops and will have a recheck in 3 months.
Today was the echocardiogram and the technician told us that his heart looked good. We still have the mystery of the severe increase in edema but it doesn't seem to be congestive heart failure. This afternoon was a test by the respiratory therapist to determine if he can use a appliance on his new oxygen tank that will just deliver oxygen when he breathes in. This will double the time the tank will last when we are out. It has taken all week to get the oxygen equipment the way he needs it to be.
Yesterday I came down with an terrible stomach ache and middle of the night diarrhea. So I start worrying about what will we do if something takes me out of action. Last summer I had to have my colon out when Dick was in really bad shape and couldn't see. At least this year he has vision thanks to the cataract surgery. I just hope it isn't a bug that I can pass on to Dick.
I still feel strung out and on edge. Dick is not taking his insulin when he should and I yelled at him tonight that he had to take responsibility for his insulin. He just agreed with me. So we didn't even have a fight. We'll see if he can, if not, I will have to add that to the list of things I have to keep track of. Thanks for reading this far if you did. Julie
