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Just thinking out loud....

11 years 11 months ago #17532 by Gene Beane
Julianne,
In alot of ways I bet it does seem like MAYbe its gone,,,she doesn't let on to her illness, so its hard for you to too..but you keep wondering.WHATS GOING ON HERE ANYWAY, she's great and I am a wreck. She has to be one special ma ma. she is very spiritual, she has put it in the hands of the higher being..strong individual!!! Of course your worried and wondering, its nature to do so!!
I know before Gene's surgery, not knowing what the outcome would be a certain calm came over me like it was out of my hands,I had no control, scary, but somehow it was okay,,I had faith in the outcome,,,Ginger

Hospital Cleveland Clinic r/c Sept.14,2007
Surgeon. Dr Stephen Campbell and Gill
Gene Beane..66 Ford Motor Company
Engineer, retired Vietnam Vet

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11 years 11 months ago #17513 by julieann
Thanks you guys! I know I shouldn't worry :( Karen--the sad thing is that I can't keep up with her! I'm the one getting overheated etc. She amazes me and I am so thankful that this has not gotten her down spiritually or physically thus far. Melodie--Thanks for reminding me to take care of and pray for myself as well as my mom. I do believe that she will be strong until the end and that God will protect her from pain. Ginger and Joe-- Thanks for always being patient with my ramblings!!
I can't help but ask however, what are the chances that there has been no spread since January when we found out it was in the nodes? Be realistic, I can take it! She just doesn't seem to have changed, so maybe???????

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11 years 11 months ago #17501 by Melodie
Juliann,

I talked to a Christian friend who once who had a girlfriend who had to battle cancer in three different areas of her body...she enjoyed what days she had...until it finally took her life...she was an elderly woman...and believe it or not, she reported no pain. Maybe it was the power of prayer. I would try not to worry about tomorrow as that is stealing time and energy away from your "today" that should be enjoyed as much as possible. What will be, will be. And since we tend to worry about things too much, perhaps this journey for her, will not be nearly as bad as you might imagine it to be. Hang in there and ask God to lift this burden of anxiety and stress from you...you likely have prayed for mom but don't forget to pray for strength for yourself. Take care....Hugs, Melodie

Melodie, Indy Pouch, U.W.Medical Center, Seattle, Dr. Paul H. Lange & Jonathan L. Wright

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11 years 11 months ago #17487 by momof4
Joe, Great story!!

Julieann...I believe that we all have a "made on date", and and "Expiration Date"...it is our job to do what we can in between...your mom decided against further treatment...but by doing what she is doing, she is still fighting...and beating cancer...

As for your feelings...They are real...You are scared...That is so understandable...maybe you should join your mother and pick and plant...you will spend time together, and probably laugh and joke and have a great time...(and you could keep an eye on her too)...We are women...we are compassionate, and we worry...it is in the job description...don't fault yourself for it...Enjoy her, while she is enjoying herself...

Karen

Karen

Caregiver for my Wonderful Husband Angelo, who has Metastatic Bladder Cancer.

Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.

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11 years 11 months ago #17486 by fearandfight
I remember when I was a trucker and there was this bar around the corner. This is in Phila and they are notorious for corner bars in their neigborhoods. I use to stop in and have a couple of beers on the way the home and the couple that owned the bar were in their 70's. Her name was May and when I use to leave I say hey May I'll see you tomorrow and she always said "The good Lord willing being". If your mom can still do all these things God Bless her and let her to do what makes her happy I think it's great. Point being if she says "if I'm still around" makes me think of May saying "The good Lord willing being" So it's just something older folks may say I want take that too serious. She sounds like a tough cookie. Joe ;)

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11 years 11 months ago #17480 by Gene Beane
Julianne,
Your not boring me at all, our children were very concerned, standing over my shoulder all the time, there for office visits etc. I know how your mom feels, I had to tell the kids, I can still pay the bills and get the mail. I am 62 not 95..but its well known your only thinking of mom,, she knows that, as I did with the kids. Maybe give her a little slack,, treat her as if she had nothing at all. Give it a try!!!! Ginger

Hospital Cleveland Clinic r/c Sept.14,2007
Surgeon. Dr Stephen Campbell and Gill
Gene Beane..66 Ford Motor Company
Engineer, retired Vietnam Vet

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