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The dreaded decision, Hospice

12 years 1 month ago #13534 by fearandfight
Aimeth I am very sorry to hear about this. But I do believe you are making the right decision here because you have done all you can and my heart goes out to you for that. But sometimes a person just needs more help then one person alone can give and you are now in that situation. I know this is a hard time for you right now but hospice will make sure your husband is pain free and comfortable. So Sorry, Joe

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12 years 1 month ago #13530 by Julie
Almeth, from what I know of hospice any time is right if the Physician estimates the person has less than six months to live. From your description of your husbands needs he is ready for hospice care. They will do their best to make him comfortable and will be a big help to you. Hospice's main mission is to provide comfort and ease the transition. My father was in hospice care prior to his death and we really appreciated their care.

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12 years 1 month ago #13529 by mssmr
Aimeth -- I am so sorry to hear of you husband's serious challenges and struggles.
I hope for better days to come your way.

I am wondering if you are contemplating hospice care at home or at a hospice care facilty in another location. All of those I have known in hospice care had home hospice care. Each also had a strong family and or community (friend, coworker, etc.) network willing and able to participate in the time of hospice care -- visiting, providing respite care, cooking meals, providing transportation for others in the care network, etc. For my friends in hospice care, the time seemed so short (just a week or weeks) before their passing. I have heard that this is not always the case and recall reading such a case on this forum recently.

I wonder how well it would have worked had they not had large networks or hadn't received care at home. Should the time come for me, I'd want to have home hospice care. I wonder if I have a large enough network though. There are complexities in this care with health care professionals and others' abilities and presence needed.

If you and your husband are at home now and hospice care is approved (or certified -- I'm not sure of the language) there would be elements of continuity, though, and that could be comforting.

This is just my attempt to report on my observations related to hospice care given relatives and close friends in the past. It doesn't really address how you'll know it is time. I believe all those I can recall who received the care had a large role, himself or herself, in that decision.

Hoping blessings will come your way at this so, so difficult time -- Susan

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12 years 1 month ago #13528 by aimeth
Well, My husband has been deteriorating very quickly. He is to a point where he can't take care of himself and the pain meds are not helping any more. We had a nurse come over yesterday to evaluate him and suggested hospice. This is a very hard decision to make. The nurse and my sister in law who has nursing experience seem to think is time. How do you know when is really the right time? I guess for me it will never be the right time. But I just want him to be comfortable. And he has a lot of needs that I can't fully provide. He has stopped eating, lost control of his bladder, can't communicate well and has a bed sore that is making him very uncomfortable, swollen feet and legs. Well a lot of things are going on with him. I just don't know what else to do for him anymore. Thanks, Aimeth

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