Hi Juliann,
I saw my name mentioned regarding the question:” chemo or no chemo”. It is a difficult decision to make and of course, the final decision is up to the patient. I remember that my husband, Hans, and I talked about it, and Hans decided against it. I believe the decision has not much to do with the will to live, giving in to life or giving up hope. I think it has more to do with the diagnosis of the cancer( and this will be for everybody different), with weighing the facts and being able and willing to accept what is coming( and ultimately death). When I posted the question in 2006, the majority of the answers were in two groups that you have to fight the cancer and chemo may be successful. I know that there are people with very good results fighting it, even when the odds were against them, but percentage-wise there are only a few. Back in 2006, I did a lot of research after we found out that it was in the lymph nodes, and after talking to the oncologist, who didn't give him much hope. The research didn't really give us conclusive evidence that chemo would help with his diagnosis. Going through chemo is tough in most cases and we were not sure if it was worth it. Hans would gain maybe another 3 to 6 months, but at what cost?? Hans accepted his fate “ it is not the quantity, but the quality that counts”, he said. By doing so, he became very peaceful and I think the experience became very healing for him. I believe the last 6 months became the best year of his life. He didn’t give up hope, he enjoyed every moment and his long struggle with depression lifted. You can look up the good- bye letter he wrote if it helps to read his perspective on the last few months of his life in the In Memoriam section.
I just wanted to share this viewpoint, which is not shared by many it seems.
I hope it helps.
Renée