Just rambling

Thanks Karen. I think you're right. Different ages bring different perspectives. I'm sorry I didn't ask how you are feeling. I have been very self absorbed. Is your full story here somewhere? I don't to be insensitive by asking you lots of questions.

Hi Julieann,

I knew you weren't "Talking Turkey" when you were "Talking Turkey" LOL...

Take it easy on yourself...This is a very tuff scenario for anyone to deal with. You aren't crazy just human...Although this disease can make you feel crazy at times. I am only 39 so the thought of death for us at our age is totally different than when you age a bit I think. We still see our parents as invincible, especially when they haven't had the chance to get "Elderly" or "Frail"...Getting sick or a disease when they are otherwise relatively healthy is so hard. You look at them and say, "This can't be happening"...

Karen

Thanks to you all for the replies. Thanks Pat for knowing while my post was serious, it was also meant to be somewhat lighthearted. Thanks to Karen for putting into words what I couldn't. Mom does mean so many things to me. Thanks to Susan for bringing up a point that I was thinking. I don't want to begin to say and do things out of the ordinary for fear that she will feel my negative vibes. I know that once we get results, we will begin to talk very openly. I just have so many things going through my head right now and I can't really sort it all out. You guys are a Godsend!!

Julieann --

I am grateful -- right now -- to be feeling well although I'm diagnosed with
widely spread metasatic bladder cancer. In fact, I've felt reasonably well, with only 2-3 bad days since learning of my "mets" in the middle of November.

Your mention of cooking a turkey impelled me to respond. My sister and I cooked
a turkey at Thanksgiving time, "assisted" by my niece and future daughter-in-law.
Then, at Christmas, my niece and future daughter-in-law cooked the turkey. It came out tender and delicious. Ok, they did "panic" and call the Butterball Hotline and
then refrained from stuffing the turkey for fear it wasn't fully defrosted -- but
we made the stuffing separately -- no loss.

If your mother is still feeling quite well as you reported last week, she might
enjoy being involved in your quest to improve your culinary skills. (Are you afraid
she'll think you are thinking the worst because you want to be able to cook turkey?
Speaking for myself, I have begun to make a conscious effort to get my good recipes and cooking secrets to the next two generations and I'm happy they haven't resisted.)

I hesitated to write this. I don't know why. Sometimes I wonder if cargivers want to talk with other caregivers rather than with people with cancer, I guess.

It sounds as if you love your mother very much.

Susan (mssmr)

Pat I cook my turkeys for 15 mins a lb. on 350 degrees and they always come out nice and juicy. I have a turkey pan that has handles where you set your turkey and a lid which I can keep open or shut. If toward the end if my turkey isn't brown enough I will take the lid off for about 15-20 mins to let it brown some more. Those handles come in handy when it is time to lift that bird out of the pan. But I have really found 15 mins a lb to be the key stop over I'll let you try some lol. Cheers, Joe

Julieann,

I understand where you are coming from...there are so many things that mean "Mom" to you, and you cannot imagine a life without her. I feel similar things about things my husband always took care of...

Mortality is a very complicated issue...you want to save your mom...that is what all the family members on this forum feel...The problem is we cannot change test results, and we cannot make decisions for other people...Live for today...and if you know the serenity prayer, it helps too

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.

Have a good cry, know that you are going to have good days and not so good days...Just don't get lost in the bad ones...You mother has good days left regardless of the outcome of tests, or her decisions...Just enjoy her while she is here...That is what all of us should be doing daily, regardless of a cancer diagnosis...

You are in my thoughts,
Karen