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Need some support and encouragement.

10 years 3 months ago #45713 by rbmc
Replied by rbmc on topic Need some support and encouragement.
Hope you can update us with some encouraging news. Sounds like a denial to me, no way to admit one is as sick as they are, and it will 'go away'. Shame, or embarrassment? What if my burly friends find out someone is poking around "down there", sometimes a male. After starting all this, I was happy to realize that little thing is a direct route to where they need to be to look, find, remove, and treat BC. (Unfortunately, there are cases that involve 'cutting' surgery.) Beer makes you pee a lot. Drinking 12 beers a day helps 'prove' that all the parts are still working. Hope there has been some personal help for yourself as a caregiver, and something that has triggered hubby into further medical intervention.

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10 years 3 months ago #45610 by mt bk
Replied by mt bk on topic Need some support and encouragement.
Looks like its been a while since you posted up, but there is hope. Beer and alcohol have very high levels of sugar, and my pain came back for days after a large binge of drinking. Of course I had to test that, and unfortunately, I was able to easily repeat that experience. The only thing that keeps the pain away was to eat no sugary foods and I cut out red meat or anything else high in starch. I switched to starbucks green tea and am never without my canteen of unsweetened icecold cold tea. I do drink a beer or two once or twice a week. Do what you can to keep him hydrated and dilute whatever sugars are sitting around in his bladder. Sorry I didn't see your post until just now, best wishes. Get him back to the docs ASAP if you haven't already though at least to talk it out. Steve
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10 years 4 months ago #45585 by Thteone
Replied by Thteone on topic Need some support and encouragement.
The shock I had knowing that I had bladder cancer was unbearable. I feel for you, however he has to make the decision that he wants to live. I had my Surgery 5 years ago and I am not even 50 years old yet. But I am alive, and I am living life. I made that decision that I wanted to live. Aug 2, 2008, I had radical cystoprostatectomy with neobladder .
I remember when the Dr. told me that I had Cancer. I cried, I am 6 feet tall 265 pounds. I cried like a baby. The question was why me? What did I do? I had just re-married in Dec 2007. 30 minutes later I looked at my Doctor and I said, ok what’s next. I looked at my Wife, took stock in my life. Nothing seemed important anymore. The pursuit of that next level seemed trivial. My fight was different; I was fighting for my Life – literally. I made a decision that I will survive. It is a difficult pill to swallow, but there really is life after surgery.
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10 years 9 months ago #45032 by CatherineH
Replied by CatherineH on topic Need some support and encouragement.
Hello and welcome to the forum... You are coping with a lot. I am so sorry that your husband has chosen to ignore his doctor's direction. Removing a portion of the bladder is very unusual except in very specific circumstances. Do you know what type of cancer he was diagnosed with? Those regular check ups are so important because bladder cancer has the highest recurrence of any other malignancy.

Your story could be written about my nephew. He had surgery for prostate cancer just over a year ago. He drinks often, and smokes heavily. He is deeply depressed after his cancer and has refused most attempts to get help even though he is surrounded by supportive family. Unfortunately he is an alcoholic in denial. Everyone is at a loss as to what to do, but he has to make the decision that he would rather live than drink. He's not there yet. Short of having him involuntarily committed for residential lock-up treatment, there are few options others can take until he is willing to get and accept help.

It is very much the same for your husband. He has to make that decision for himself. I don't have any advice to offer except to possibly seek the help of a family counselor for yourself and your own sanity. Maybe they can suggest some groups or some coping strategies. I am very sorry for your situation as I know this is hurting you to watch it happen.

Please continue to post here. We may not be able to help your husband, but we can be a sounding board for your own worries and stress.
Best wishes... Catherine

TURBT 1/21/10 at age 55
Dx: T2aN0M0 Primary Bladder Adenocarcinoma
Partial Cystectomy 2/25/10
Vanderbilt Medical Center
Nashville, TN
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10 years 9 months ago #45031 by Coping with it all
Need some support and encouragement. was created by Coping with it all
Need some advice. My husband had 1/3 of his bladder removed one year ago this month. He was told to go back every 3 months for 2 years, every 6 months for 1 year, and once a year for the rest of his life. He was stubborn a year ago to even go to a doctor after urinating blood for 2 months. When he finally went, he was diagnosed with cancer. Well, he has refused to go back to the doctor and continues to smoke and drink 12 beers a day. He is in a ton of pain, lack of energy, deeply depressed, no desire to have friends or family around us, feels hungry and loses his appetite. He says he feels like he is being kicked in the "nuts" and painful to urinate. I keep asking him to go back to the doctor. When he had the surgery a year ago, he quit drinking alcohol and felt great. He went back to drinking 6 weeks later and when he did, he was in a ton of pain after 3 beers and he said that he couldn't do that again. Well, he did. I can't find any information with beer affecting post bladder cancer.

He really needs to go back to the doctor and I pray every day that he will just "fess" up and go back. I know he is scared and so am I.

Thank you for listening and hopefully we will get some answers to his world of pain at this moment.

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