Hello Friends,
In a few hours I'll be on my way to Mayo's for 2 days of testing, and I am nervous. As much as I know Jesus is already there, I still get freaked out knowing my every cell will be tranparent and inspected. Maybe that should calm me but it doesn't.
I do want to throw a few things out there that I have been quietly dealing with...
During chemo my hair thinned significantly. It used to be reddish blonde...but what has been growing in is black and curly or white and straight. I called it all..mutt puppy hair. My hair lady (who had also had cancer) trimmed it up and we put in semi permanent hair color to "fix" it. The black hair didn't take the color well, and my hair is not growing in evenly. It may not be a big deal but it is a bit freaky and I don't know what to make of it. Any ideas if red hair or black hair will win? ANd how long till normal hair? I finished chemo 9 weeks ago.
There are things I used to do before all this cancer bologna started that I am finding great difficulty with now. I really struggle to find my words, and alot of times I get my words mixed up -ie "I need to get the fridge back in the milk" when it should be get the milk back in the fridge. And I forget alot like where I left something, or to do things. I pray this isn't the new normal. Any thoughts? How long before chemo gets out of the brain? I have had a few headaches and have had some strong confusion at times - that is when local dr wants to scan my brain. Maybe that is why I get freaked on this, but any input would help.
Without going into huge detail...My employer has now become my former employer. When I was released by my dr for parttime re entry to work, the employer poised themselves to be rid of me. Very legal but very unethical. I have found a new parttime job that I'll be starting in a week or so that I should enjoy tho.
Well, Hopefully this time they will know more about the bone tumor. With the fall weather and cool nights, it aches pretty deep. And I have a few other bones that have been consistently aching too. I also hope that the enlarged lymphnode will be figured out too. And I pray that all else is well :)I will post again on Wednesday when I get back, God bless us all , Love Holly
I am so straight now the only thing missing on me is my white collar. But if the cancer didn't kill me the way I use to live my life would of I was always a hard worker but I over did the party scene. Holly things happen for a reason with your former employer down the road you will find more happiness with the new one. Good luck up at Mayos and if your nerves don't calm down ask your Dr. for a valium or ativan to help you out. I know we can't rely on drugs for everything but sometimes you need them that's my opinion. I suffer real bad from anxiety and after my dad passed I was told he also had a very bad anxiety disorder. Well best of luck Holly. Joe 