hi daughter of dad with bc. my husband has bc and began his third cycle of chemo today and his rc is scheduled for november 5th. i am having lots and lots of emotions, kind of like your mom. my husband is the epitome of mr. clean living - never smoked a cigarette in his life, eats all his veggies, snacks on fruit, etc. and he got bc. i am not angry with him for getting it, but i do feel some anger about the fact that he had really bad pain during urination in 2001, went for a cysto, it was clear, and he was told to come back in a year, and never went back again. he just hated that cysto and never told me he was supposed to go back to the urologist. and anyway, it's his responsiblity, not mine. he's a big boy. but believe me, he wishes he could take it back. and like zachary said - you can't live for yesterday. it's done, and now we have to deal with it. our social life has been severely curtailed. we're basically having to write off an entire year of our lives with this disease and all its aftermath. i think the reason your mom is reacting the way she is is because she can't face her fears - of being widowed and alone, for starters. it's much easier to be angry than to be sad and scared. it seems to hurt less. your life won't change nearly as much as your mother's if something happens to your dad. anyway, that's just my opinion. your mom will have to work through all her emotions and it's a long process - similar to the grief process. she has to go thru all the steps. i am reading your entries very closely since i know i'll be in your shoes in a month. keep us all posted - it's really helpful to write these entries, as well as to read them. the support from all the people here on this forum is so valuable.
eileen, michael's wife