Sorry to take so long to reply to this question, but I wanted to have enough time to reply to all your questions, and I had to get my husband to bed first ;D. He's just 10 days out from his RC, and I was flushing drain tubes, etc. Now he's down, and I have a minute.
Keep in mind that I speak only from the standpoint of being his "caregiver" right now, but here is what I've learned in the past couple of weeks:
1. Our surgeon said a week to 10 days. We got out on day 8, counting the surgery as day 1, but I think we made it faster because he hadn't had to use many pain meds, which can slow down the bowel recovery. My sister, who is a nurse practitioner said that nowadays, the pain management people feel that no one should be in pain, so they do tend to push the pain meds, and that can keep the bowels asleep longer.
2. I got a hotel room a couple of miles from the hospital, so I had somewhere to go to shower, work out, sleep and eat breakfast. Those hours were precious, and gave me time to rest. If your mother is having surgery out of town, you might keep that in mind. Also, the hotel had a special "hospital" rate, so we only paid $56 per night, plus tax, etc.
That said, I was very glad I was close, and that I had a COMPLETE list of all my husband's medications. Since he could take nothing by mouth from the night before surgery until he had bowel sounds, he was off some crucial meds, and if I hadn't spoken up when I did (I demanded he get started back on his anti-depressants), we would have had a big crisis. He had to sit through a nurse from the psych ward, two residents from the psych ward, and finally the head of the psych ward before the actually got him back on his meds.
Had I known then what I know now, I would have DEMANDED that he get his anti-depressants through his IV, even if they didn't know whether or not they could do it. The time to arrange that is BEFORE the surgery, with the surgeon and his team.
Then he had a high blood pressure crisis six days in, in the middle of the night, and the resident on call wanted to put him on Lopressor, to which he had had a BAD reaction in the past. If he hadn't been completely cognizant of his medications and reactions, he could have wound up even more depressed.
He did come through, but if he hadn't had me as an advocat, it would have been much more difficult. So, whoever stays with her in the hospital, if you have someone do it, make sure they know each and every medication and what it does and doesn't do.
I found that my best idea was to have brought one of those wire rolling trolleys that you see the elderly using to take groceries home. I filled it with his medical information, my supper to eat in the hospital, books to read, snacks for quick energy, etc. Then I could roll it back to the car, to the hotel, fill it again, and roll back to the ward.
But, I must add that the nurses were awesome, and the aides were great. Just make sure each shift change that you know your nurse's name and your aide's name, and call them by name, and make your presence felt. You can help with bathing, changing dressings, drains, etc., and it gets you ready for the home care. You may not even have the same nurses any of the days you are there, but it helps to know what is going on. you can help with taking her for a walk (trailing all the tubes and machines), ask the nurse her questions, finding a comfortable chair for her, and keep her spirits up.
3. Your mother will need someone at home with her at least until she gets her stitches and drains out....maybe 3 weeks? She won't be able to flush the tubes by herself, or put on her TED hose, or walk a lot, or any of the really annoying things she'll have to do to get better.
You should make sure you slip the doc a note before the surgery about her leakage, but I bet it won't make a bit of difference if she's going to have a "new" place from which to pee :
Now, about your dad. Is your mother his main caregiver? Would he be amenable to going into assisted living for a couple of weeks until your mom can take care of herself?
Just think about those middle of the night crises that happen, and if you had to take care of both of them, what would you do?
If not, would she go to a care facitility where they could care for her post-surgery, and you could care for your dad?
If those don't work, do you have any type of home health care that you could activate for a couple of months?
I probably just gave you w-a-y too much information, but think on it a while. I got SO much help from this web cafe that I want to give back when I can.
Feel free to ask more questions....people here are great!
Stephany in Iowa (where I can finally feed my husband my own cooking)