Just be straight with me please

The pathology done after the RC is the most acurate way to stage bladder cancer. Other than that only time will tell you the full story. We all grasp for absolutes in this world and for many the uncertainty is one of the worst things when dealing with cancer. But the truth is that no one on earth can tell you exactly how this will play out. The only thing I can tell you is an absolute is that there is only one way to hedge your bets. And that is to be an informed medical consumer. If your situation allows get her to a high volume Uro Surgeon and Uro Onocologist. If your situation does not allow for that be her advocate go to all the of meetings with the doctors take notes ask questions and help her through the maze.
By the way I am three years out of a T2 dx with chemo and the RC behind me. I am thriving and enjoying every day of life. Remember the survival rate is very high for people with T2 disease who recieve the proper treatment.
Just from reading your post I can tell you love your mother deeply and that she is lucky to have you in her corner. Keep up the good work, keep asking questions and keep us informed.

Cynthia