path report is back, and how to tell husband?

16 years 7 months ago #7070 by Stephany
Replied by Stephany on topic path report is back, and how to tell husband?
Zach, you are right, unfortunately. He feels that the doc is straight with him, and compassionate, unlike some of the new residents, and the over-worked RNs. And he says those things to me because he can. He knows I'll take it, even though I'm angry with him.

I was impressed with the way the doc told me, and that's probably how it should go, but he won't hear anything except "spread to the lymph nodes."

I guess I have to give him time to accept it. Maybe ask the doc to come in once with the news, and then later with some answers.

How WAS your pathology report, by the way?

Stephany in Iowa (hiding up on the eighth floor for a quiet dinner of sushi and melon.)

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

16 years 7 months ago #7069 by Zachary
Replied by Zachary on topic path report is back, and how to tell husband?
That's a tough one.

How does your husband act around the physician? Perhaps it would be best if the doctor told him.

This is exactly how it went with me. Verbatim. Dr. Stein walked in and said "Let's talk about your pathology report." That's it. No beating around the bush. The advantage of the doctor telling him is that he can answer the questions immediately that your husband probably will have.

I'm going to make a guess here, and I may well be wrong, but I'll bet your husband threw the temper tantrum with you because he could. I'll bet he doesn't behave that way with the doctor. I'm sorry to say I've gotten stressed and snapped and was curt with my wife before, but I couldn't imagine a scenario that would cause me to snap at my doctor. There is, sadly, a whole different dynamic we have with doctors and even strangers that we don't have with our loved ones.

"Standing on my Head"---my chemo journal
T3a Grade 4 N+M0
RC at USC/Norris June 23, 2006 by Dr. John Stein

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

16 years 7 months ago #7068 by Stephany
Hello, all....I just spoke with the doc about the path report. We had been waiting for it, and when he stopped in on rounds, he told me he would let me know.

I just ran into him in the hall, and he said it looked like it was contained in the bladder, but of 31 lymph nodes that they took they found something in two of them, which means chemo, and a long wait, right?

The question is, how do we tell him? The doc left that up to me, knowing the problems he has had, and continues to have, with depression. He had a visit from two psych residents, and then the chief, and he finally agreed to give him some Xanax during the day to help until the Celexa builds up in his system.

He had another temper tantrum today, and tells he he told off the charge nurse. He was really down, feeling that he would never feel good again, and a couple of hours later, he was up and walking, checking out his caringbridge website (I had to do some convincing on that.) I tell him I understand how he feels, which only makes him madder. I am able to get him up and walking, re-attach his drains, etc., which is what I'm here for, but he's angry that the NA or RN doesn't have time to do it when he wants it.

This was day three after the surgery, or day four if you count the surgery day. When does it get better, and how would you suggest we tell him?

Signing off for now,
Stephany in Iowa

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Moderators: Cynthiaeddieksara.anne