Jon,
Sorry to hear about the progression to muscle invasion. It is not the end of the world although it is certainly scary as all get out when the surgery is in front of you. I had my bladder removed over four years ago and I'm still cancer free.
If the comments about getting married are a hint about your concern (pronounced TERRI-if-ide) then I can also tell you that the chances of that not being a problem in the long run are pretty darn good.
If it is muscle invasive now, they will do some chemo and then the bladder and prostate are coming out. Sloan is one of the best in the country so you are at the right place.
You want nerve sparing surgery when they take the prostate. Very important for ongoing functioning. You could require pills or shots for a while before that gets back to normal.
There are different options in terms of bladder replacement. I have a neobladder. That is where they remove a segment of your own small intestine, form it into a pouch and then hook it up to your original plumbing.
A bunch of us have neobladders, some have Indiana pouch, same thing except they hook it up to a stoma hidden inside your belly button. Ileal conduit is where you don't have any internal storage and they route your ureters to a stoma on your side and you have an external bag for urine collection.
As you likely already know but probably need to hear again is that bladder cancer is very treatable. Even when it has become muscle invasive.
If you want to talk, send your contact info through the "contact us" function and I will get in touch with you. If you prefer email or phone just say so in your message and give me both.
Do not post your info here in the forum.
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...