We know why you are upset even though you don't have cancer. It is because you are afraid of losing him and worried about everything that comes along with this whole mess.
I was the one with cancer and I knew that it was very tough on my wife. She would be the one to be on her own if I died. Instead I just didn't die. Got my bladder out instead. Way better choice if I do say so myself.
Your husband isn't about to die either. Life without a bladder is just fine and odds are that he will be just fine. It would be quite abnormal though to not worry about and about yourself. So, why feel bad about something completely normal?
Now that you know it is normal, no reason to feel guilty about it.
Keep us in the loop. It is ok to share that feeling with your husband. Telling him exactly what you said here would be greater. You actually used the perfect words to describe it. This is a team sport!
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...
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