Hi there,
My son was 23 and just home from Iraq when I was dx'd, did rc neobladder and chemo. He moved in with us to help me and spend time with me after we found out the cancer was so advanced (3b). My bonus kids (stepkids) were 7 and 9 and around alot although they lived with their mom.
We told them when surgery was coming and that we would vacation at home that summer. They were great about helping around the house and being more gentle around me.
When I had to do chemo, we also talked about it as a family some. I lost a lot of weight and was hospitalized alot, and it scared them to see me with the neuropathy in my hands and feet so bad. For a while they had visitation with their dad at hotels as my risk of infections was too high. I did 4 rounds of cisplatin and gemzar.
When chemo was done and I had started to feel better, we had a "no more chemo" party, and took a long weekend at the Wis Dells to celebrate. But just a few months later, scans showed the cancer had spread to my hip. Sharing that was very hard. When I asked them if they had any questions I could answer for them, they really only had 1...They worried about catching cancer. We had a good dialogue and they seemed relieved.
Fortunately I have no signs of bone mets now. I did a heavy duty naturopathic regime to increase my ph and eliminated sugar, take chlorropyll and plant enzymes, etc. More complex than just that - but that is another post.
I think with the younger kids, they fear most what you don't tell them. When they see you look like hell, but say everything is fine - that scares them most.
Hope I helped and keep up the fight, Holly
