Jen, With the complication of your mothers age I would call now and get yourself in the cue for the second opinion. Here is the link to their contact page
www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/adult/bladder
Chemotherapy can be done before or after Radical Cystectomy it depends on your doctors preference and your mothers situation.
I am sorry your family is dealing with all of this but we are here if you need us,please keep us updated.