Brett,
What you are experiencing is absolutely normal. I'm surprised your doctor didn't tell you to expect this.
You should have received a schedule of how often you should go to the bathroom and exercises (kegels and others) to help you strengthen the pelvic floor muscles. The neobladder is made of intestine (not muscle like the bladder was). Therefore, you now need to learn to use the pelvic floor muscles to control going (and just as importantly--not going).
You also need to follow the schedule in order to SLOWLY stretch the neobladder. It is usually made with only a 40-50cc capacity and then stretched (once you have a little continence and then by slowly increasing the time between emptying the neobladder).
It takes a few weeks to a month or so to get day time control and even longer for night-time. You need to get Depends or some other brand of pads and/or undergarments for this time.
Glad you found us and I hope this info is helpful for you.
Best of luck on your recovery!
Mike
Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...