My dad has bladder cancer, what can I do to help?

13 years 5 months ago #34633 by Melissa
Thank you, Pat & Zeus, for taking the time to answer. I really appreciate it.

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13 years 5 months ago #34530 by zeus
I understand your feelings of helplessness.

I think one of the best things you can do is visit your parents as much as possible. It will probably help just being present so he knows you care.

It is also probably a huge burden on your mom, so there may be things you can do to help her out that will make it easier on her. Not necessarily things to do with the illness - maybe just help out in getting things done around the house that may be languishing. Going to the store, mowing the yard, doing laundry, all those chores and tasks and responsibilities that fall by the wayside when you are confronted with a battle like this.

Unless they have said that they don't want you around, then be around as much as possible.

Just my two cents.

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13 years 5 months ago #34515 by Patricia
WEll there is Cisplatin and Carboplatin...both platinum drugs...the Carbo much easier on the system. Glad he's doing so well with the platelets. Thats really good news. The trick with this routine is to take the anti-nausea drugs before the nausea.
My son had testicular cancer in his very early 30's and i remember how difficult it was. They did not do radiation anymore at that time..just the chemo which was every day for a week 8 hrs a day..then a week off...and a repeat for 2 more sessions of a week each. His taste buds left him. He craved only Thai food which he never ate before but he said thats all he could taste.
So just support Dad...give him what tastes good to him..keep him well hydrated...and buy or rent some funny movies. Mine loved anything with Bill Murray...Caddyshack..anything silly. I think the laughter helped him.
pat

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13 years 5 months ago #34514 by Melissa
Hi Pat - yes, they did remove the prostate during the cystectomy. And yes, I believe he's getting Cisplatin/Gemzar (is it also called 'Platinum?'). He's 2 weeks on, 1 week off for the chemo. The first week is a long day, the second week is shorter followed up by a shot the next day. His white counts were very good last week, so he didn't have to have the shot.

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13 years 5 months ago #34513 by Patricia
Just a question? They did remove his prostate during the cystectomy right?
Can you tell us more about the chemo he is getting? Is it Cisplatin/Gemzar?
This is tough i know and others will join in shortly to help you by giving you their experiences.
pat

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13 years 5 months ago #34509 by Melissa
I came across this site while trying to find a support resource for my folks. In my search, I realized that I also need support. Let me give you some background... My dad was diagnosed with invasive bladder cancer in May of this year - he is 57. We received a 2nd opinion from Karmanos Cancer Center in Detroit, MI. My dad had his bladder removed on July 20th. Because of previous radiation treatments for testicular cancer (24 years ago), it was decided that a neobladder would not be an option. (He's doing very well with his urostomy bag.) Two of 11 lymph nodes tested positive for BC. His prostate showed BC cells and prostate cancer cells. He's currently going through chemo and will probably have radiation.

What can I do to help? Chemo is really taking its toll on him. His doctor also started him on an anti-depressant. Even though he battled cancer once before - this time is different. I am not the one with cancer - so I do not know how I would react. I just want to be supportive without being overbearing. I want to help without hurting. I have two sisters and we all live in close proximity to my parents - we just feel very helpless. I would appreciate any suggestions that you may have on how I could better support my parents.

Thanks so much.

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