I've done a gazillion postings on this (I really should update my story sometime) but briefly...
I have a neobladder. It was created October 19th. I'm 43. The surgery is very tough but I did recover pretty well and now 3 and a bit months later my life feels 95% back to normal. At 4 - 6 weeks after surgery I was beginning to function normally again. I eat what I ate before with a few pretty minor modifications. My peeing "style" feels pretty normal again. I stand mostly and drain pretty well. It feels fairly close to how it felt before. I haven't gone back to work yet but probably will very soon. I probably could have done already.
My continence with the neobladder is excellent during the day now. I rarely leak. At night it's a little more trying so I wear those pant things but things are gradually moving in the right direction. There's room for improvement.
Before the op, like everyone, I was pretty terrified. But I'm really glad I made the decision to have a neobladder. It's a bit of a project getting it working but with the right head...
I think when I considered the other options, the one thing a working neobladder gives you is maybe more independence from medical supplies. But there is no absoloute guarantee. It certainly has given me a similar body image to what I had before. I have no regrets at all about choosing the neobladder route. And, like Jeff above, I was told that it could be converted to an Indiana (internal catheterisable pouch) if the continence didn't work out. I doubt that'll happen though.
My husband is scheduled for his cystecomy on 2/1. I am trying to keep open the lines of communication with and for him. I think he is still undecided about the neobladder because of all the transitional and healing problems. He said the other day that the outside pouch just seems so much easier in all areas. He is 56- pretty active. Maybe if he had some opinions from you gentleman and your outcomes he could make a better decision that would suit him.
Also should we worry that it took 3.5 weeks to get his surgery done after he was diagnosed?? They told him the cancer was aggressive.??