Hox
I would like to rejoin this discussion with the new information you have provided. I sincerely wish you the best and can now relate a little more to your situation. I strongly believe the positive attitude is THE key to recovery. The surgeon can only do so much. I feel that you are having such a hard time with this, partly because you have lost the will.
Just so you don't think I come from the land of "happy feelings," I can relate to how life can beat you down. We have both been through this cancer thing and it has taken its toll on us. I, too, have a mother who lives Very close by (300 yards) that is in the very late stages of Alzheimers and comes by 4 or 5 times a day with the darndest situations. My father is adament about NOT having any help in the house and relies on my wife and I to take over when we are not at work.
Since 2008, I have seen the business world change and finally had to sell 40% of my business to keep it going. My health situation for the past 2 years has been a work in progress, to say the least.
My convertable sat in the garage for a full year before I Blew up the tires, put the top down, put on a coat and gloves, and roared off on a 300 mile blast through the lakes and mountains on a crisp 40 degree day. My spirit finally began to rise again.
I too have been fortunate to have the Love of MY Life with me through this period.
This is where my strength and attitude finds it source. I have the BEST support group anywhere. And I think you do too!
So here we are. Life has been unfair.... very unfair. We can look into the sadness and follow it down. Or we can look at the life we have to live, the people who make it worth living, and pull ourselves out of bed every day. I look at each day as a CHANCE... Just a Chance. To make a difference, to share a laugh, or a tear or a shoulder. Great things have been accomplished by people who were given a losing hand in life. They never gave up. They looked outside of themselves and found purpose in living. I was trying to do just that when I responded to your last post. I was trying to force your line of sight upward and forward. We cannot wallow in the things we have not. In every life there are challenges and problems. Some people are given an extra dose of hard luck, and they overcome and LIVE! And I do mean LIVE!
I am hoping to PUSH you into LIVING. I am sorry I made your incontinence problem a source of humor. But, there is so much more to live for. Please look at your blessings and "the love of your life" You have a lot to live for. The love and support of another person is the greatest gift you can ever receive. You are blessed indeed. Revel in this gift. Draw strength from it and never let the fire go out.
I will, at times, kick you in the pants to move you forward. This is because I need you looking outward. As the instructors in my racing school constantly harp on..... raise you eyes! The know that low eyes will lead to an offroad experience because we cannot react quickly enough to the changing road if we are NOT looking far enough down the road.
Sincerely, very Sincerely
George