Mike,
You want to find out stage and grade from the pathology reports.
Since you said it is muscle invasive, that means it is at least T2 (which means Stage 2) and since it got there before you knew anything, it's probably high grade (3).
While that might sound pretty scary, many of us (including me) have T2G3 and we're doing just fine now. Of course, we don't have original bladders but you will be surprised how much you don't miss it.
The new diversions they can do these days are amazing. You don't know what you wind up with until the surgery because it all depends on what they see when they are in there.
Typically, the neobladder is preferred in men.
They make the new bladder out of segment of small intestine and hook it up to all the original plumbing.
If that's a no go, then Indiana Pouch is the next option. No, it's not shaped like Indiana, the surgeons who came up with that type of diversion were in Indiana. That's like a neobladder except they can't hook it up to your urethra so they make a stoma either at or near your navel and you just use a catheter to drain it when it's full.
If that option doesn't work due to problems you may have, then ileal conduit is an option. That is where they don't make a pouch/bladder inside but they hook your ureters (tubes from kidneys to bladder) to a stoma they create on the side. You hook a drain bag to that stoma and urine just goes in the bag.
First thing is seeing if you can get those hospitals/doctors that Pat suggests.
No question is off limits here so please ask anything that you have any concerns at all about.
Mike
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