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Guilt

10 years 1 month ago #27474 by blb
You know, you are all such amazing people - such support, concern and good advice - and love! Wow - I am so very happy and honored to be a part of such a group. I come to this site when I am down, up, not sleepy, and sometimes very sleepy - but it is like that "hug" you need before you go to bed!! Bless you all - and - Thank You! Bobbi

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10 years 1 month ago #27473 by Webs
Thought I would give you an update.:laugh:

I did research for my friend with the colon mass. She was very appreciative. Turns out that some type 2 diabetes medicine her doctor had her on for weight loss (Don't get me started she now has a new doctor) was causing some colon blockage. She thought because she was still having watery BM's that she was not blocked.:S Pain is gone, and so is the medication and the mass.:woohoo:

I researched information, questions, and doctors for my husband's buddy's wife. She is facing tough decisions, but was thankful for the information. Especially the online support group I found for her. I am so glad I reached out she was so thankful.B)

So the phone caller the other day at back to school night. She acted like nothing had happened. You know what? I am ok with that. I know that she was grieving and I was just there.

Guilt is good in moderation.

Webs:kiss:

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10 years 2 months ago #27322 by GKLINE
You know, I was feeling guilty once...... and then I thought about it......And I realized...... I didn't really feel all that guilty!..... In fact..... I didn't feel a damn bit guilty!.............I may NEVER feel guilty again! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.

08/08/08...RC neo bladder
09/09/09...New Hip
=
New Man! [/size]

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10 years 2 months ago #27299 by mmc
Webs,

Contrary to what you may have been told through life, guilt is a useless and destructive emotion.

I'll leave religion aside but to say I was raised in one that felt that guilt was a useful tool to use against people to keep them in line.

I threw off guilt years ago. If you mess something up, forget guilt and move on from it. Leave the past in the past. For today, live for today and try to help others if you have a chance. If others don't want that, their loss, move on from it.

You've helped LOTS of people and I can't imagine a reason to EVER feel guilty for being alive. Does anybody out have the audacity to think that if you died the other person would have lived????

I truly think that every day lived with guilt is a wasted day of life.

That woman that made the comment about 'at least your alive' was probably hurting and not thinking about what she said. If you ever talk to her again and it seems she still has that attitude, then you may want to remind her that she, herself is also alive. Then ask what the heck that has to do with ANYTHING related to her friend being dead.

I understand that many people feel guilt is a good thing for people. I suppose that it is more than likely they want "other people" to feel guilty for some real or imagined wrong.


Man....I really climbed up on my soap box this time didn't I. :)
Guess what? I don't feel guilty about it all. :D


Neither should you....ever....for any reason! You are loved and appreciated here and I feel honored to have shared space on this planet with you and in this forum.

Mike

Age 54
10/31/06 dx CIS (TisG3) non-invasive (at 47)
9/19/08 TURB/TUIP dx Invasive T2G3
10/8/08 RC neobladder(at 49)
2/15/13 T4G3N3M1 distant metastases(at 53)
9/2013 finished chemo -cancer free again
1/2014 ct scan results....distant mets
2/2014 ct result...spread to liver, kidneys, and lymph...

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10 years 2 months ago #27288 by Webs
Thank you all. My smile is back thanks to all of you. Insomnia and me are old friends and Guilt was a subject that circled around in my head so I had to get it out. Add the two together and you get a depressed post.:P

I do realize that I have nothing to feel guilty about, but isn't it funny how emotions can sneak up on you?:unsure:

I am kinda of glad I had to post this here instead of the blog. Your responses let me feel your loving arms hugging me. So here is one for all of you {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}. I like the squeezy ones.:woohoo:

Webs:kiss:

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10 years 2 months ago #27283 by Moonerj
Charlotte

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Dam, what you have gone through at such a young age, I find you to be just remarkable. You are here on this site helping, supporting, caring, and sharing your experiences with your bladder cancer journey. Do you know how many warriors you have helped here.
Far more than you could ever realize.
You welcomed me to this site with open arms, and great advice.
No you are not guilty of anything, except for being such a compassionate, loving and caring person. I am proud to have met you, and have you as a friend.
Happy Anniversary.
Hugs,
Jack

TA Grade 1
3 Turbts
30 BCG Treatments
Cancer Free since Nov 2007

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