We find ourselves in an interesting "mindset". After surgery a close friend told me "there are now three aspects of cancer that you will deal with; had cancer, have cancer, and living with cancer." I now understand what he meant. Once you have had cancer, I'm not sure we are ever once again cancer free. We will always have to live with it. Do I have cancer? I really don't know. Do I live with it? Sure do ~ every day. So are you crazy? Absolutely not. You're just learning to live (deal) with the "new normal". Time away from ground zero helps. But, after four and one half years out from surgery, I'm still living with it. I'm doing much better. I'm sure you will too.
Your not crazy and not alone. I received my neo on May 22nd.I find myself with the same problem. One of the things that has helped me is to think of my cancer like a chronic disease. People with diabetes, heart disease, and other chronic diseases have to change there diets, take medication, and follow up with there doctors. I figure that if I treat cancer the same way it is SANE to see the doctor when I have a strange pain. It is prudent to make follow up appointments. Imperative that I get follow up scans. Above all I have to give myself a mental break and say it is not crazy it is normal.
That being said I am one of the craziest people you will find around here. Welcome to the club!
GK, I don't think you are crazy at all. I have non-invasice cancer and at times I feel like cancer is raging elsewhere in my body. I think its a normal reaction. You have been through major surgery. Sometimes our minds just race but fear not, you are not alone.
I asked the very same question to my breast cancer friend. She said basical;ly the same thing. If she gets a twinge she gets nervous.
And welcome to the board. Glad to see you have posted. And so happy to hear your hip pain in NOT cancer. YAY!
This is my first post and I don't want to repeat the thoughts of everyone else. But, I have been reading along with all of you and I was wondering how you all felt about the lasting mental effects of this Cancer.
On August 6th I had surgery and received a neobladder. I was tested and pronounced "ready to go" and I would not need any Chemo. I was elated, and my recovery went well. I dove headlong into recovery and headed to the gym as soon as possible. Maybe a little too soon.
I was noticing some pain in my right hip. Now I had always had some pain there and this was just a little more. But, this soon became alarming in its intensity. I was soon walking like a very old man. I could barely walk 3 blocks. I looked exactly like grandpa on the "Real McCoys" (remember that show?) I began to fear that this was a continuation of the Cancer. I made an appointment with my doctor and had to wait a week. My outlook started to be gloomy. I soon convinced myself that I was in trouble.
To make this long story shorter, I had an exam and X rays. The good news is; It does not appear to be Cancer related. The bad news is "You are getting old and this is normal arthrites"
I just can't help but feel that from now on, every cough, ache, or upset stomach will trigger a feeling of doom. Or, am I just crazy?
How do you deal with this? And, please try not to let me know I am crazy.
Light a man a fire and he is warm for an evening.
Light a man ON fire and he's warm forever.
08/08/08...RC neo bladder
New Man! [/size]