Thankyou both for your replies and support,
joeburg: I think you have totally hit the nail on the head in reference to the way men tend to deal with things, in a sense he was pleased the original r/c was called off, a chance to hang on to his bladder, us girls being mum, my sister & myself were like just get rid of the thing it has been nothing but trouble for years, now they have tried with little result to save the bladder, awaiting path results & discussion with surgeons this week coming, will know more then.
Joe: I totally agree with you on the second opinion, but this I think has been the problem so to speak, here in Australia if you are a public patient you are treated by specialist dr's but sometimes you don’t get to choose the particular dr that will operate, Dad has seen & spoken to a number of specialist over the past year, with one group of dr's agreeing back in aug (I think) that the bladder needs to go, unfortunally on the day of the surgery a visiting specialist from the uk was scheduled to do the op, he decided, hang on we may be able to save this bladder, lets try. Well now after finding more tumors yet again they are finally all on the same page & are all going to get together to discuss dads case, so sometimes "to many cooks spoil the broth" if you get my drift.
Hoping next week gives us some direction, Mum asked them if you are doing the r/c you wont call it off again will you? they said NO if that is what needs to be done it will be done,
Thanks again for taking the time to read this,
regards,
Cathy