Shaggy and Harleygirl,
Just throwing my two cents in in regard to the aged going thru tough surgery. My mother-in-law has lived with bladder cancer for 35 years now. Years ago at age 52 she was dx and told to have her bladder removed, she refushed and did chemo, the type where they injected the bladder with some drug and they would scrape the bladder. She had superficial cancer but this treatment went on for years in an effort to spare her bladder. Finally at age 79, about 8 years ago the doc. told her there was nothing left he could do but remove the bladder.
I didn't think anything of it at the time because I wasn't closely tied in on her surgery plan, but surprised now to know that her doc. at her age wanted to give her a neobladder rather than a ilieum conduit, (bag on the side). She was a strong woman and he felt she could handle the surgery. Twice during the surgery she almost died as her heart stopped and so they cut short the time in the OR....so they actually got the neobladder constructed and in but did not have time to get it connected properly to the urethera....consequently, although she had a new bladder, she had no way to control contience. They doctor wanted her to return later so he could finish the job, thinking she would have a better qualty of life but she refused. After she left the hospital she was in so much pain she regreted the surgery and had a very difficult time adjusting to her new situation. Some of us in the family thought she had given up as she would barely eat or drink, or walk or even talk. Finally, after a month, she decidied to turn things around. Since then she uses Depends and has to change them every two hours....day or nite. She seldom complains about her situation and is still very much a go getter, even now at 87. Melodie