Thank you - it just feels like she went thru bladder removal surgery for nothing...we are only 1 month out from surgery and she's leaving this earth soon. She fought so hard when she had the fistula...she fought hard to recover from surgery but behind every corner was another fight. The fight came in all sizes - infection, fever, pain, tumor spread, not being able to hold her bowels. I hate it and I want more for her but I can't bring myself to say good bye. I can't bring myself to let go...I just want to scream or wake up from this nightmare. Every time I try to talk about the good times, I cry. I cry b/c that was the last. And I keep trying to say, don't cry b/c it's over, be happy it happened. I have been blessed to have a wonderful mother and best friend. I was planning a surprise 70th birthday party she won't have now. She seems so young...and has endured so much. I know in my heart it's the right thing but I keep praying for a miracle. Thank you for listening...I feel like a broken record.