Well the TURBT is on for tomorrow as originally scheduled. Admittedly I never called the urologist's office to ask that I be accelerated. Partly out of fear and partly because life gets in the way. Over the last 7 weeks (since tumor discovery) there have been days when I've hardly given my condition a thought because I get so caught up in family, work, hobbies, etc. It's the down time that can be challenging, however. Like when I awaken at 2 am and the mind starts racing. I turn to look at the clock somewhat later and its 3 am, then 4 am .. you get the picture.
The uncertainty of outcome, both short and long-term, are at the core of my fear. Not knowing exactly what will happen tomorrow, a month from now, or a year from now, can be frightening. I've been trying to turn it all over to some benevolent power that I believe must exist somewhere and go on living one day at a time.
One thing I've learned from this process is that the needs and wants of family and friends don't change just because I likely have bladder cancer. Life goes on for everyone and I can't expect anyone to drop everything because it may make my life a smidgen easier. I must do everything I can to take care of myself, even if it means not living up to a commitment I made (e.g., babysit a grandchild, repair a friend's tractor) prior to learning of my current condition. That said, staying involved in and being helpful to friends and family is what has kept me sane over the last 7 weeks. I guess the key is finding balance: between caring for self and being of service to others.
Two questions: How much post-op pain should I expect and how soon after the TURBT will I be able to return to normal activities?
I will return to this thread soon. Best to all in the interim.