So sorry to hear that. The answer to your question depends on so many things. And you will probably hear that people will each of the diversions do become used to them and live full lives, whichever one they have. Here is probably the best brief discussion of all three:
my.clevelandclinic.org/health/articles/urinary-reconstruction-and-diversion
One of the first things to consider is your sex. Women are not as successful with the neobladder as men. Physical condition is another; whichever diversion this is major surgery. The ileal conduit is the simplest surgery. But the most important factor is THE EXPERIENCE OF YOUR UROLOGICAL SURGEON. Can't emphasize this enough. You need to have a surgeon who does many of the diversion you choose. And this means at least several a week with a record of hundreds. Many urologists who are not bladder cancer specialists are really only trained to do ileal conduits which leads them to "recommend" this surgery to everyone! Be sure to discuss his experience and record with your urologist; you wouldn't take your expensive sports car to the corner garage for extensive service, you would seek an expert. You need to be treated at a place that specializes in bladder cancer such as an NCI designated cancer center, a medical school, or other MAJOR cancer facility.
Much urological surgery is now done with the "DaVinci apparatus" in which the surgery is done robotically. This can be an excellent choice. However, again it depends on the experience of the surgeon. Many hospitals have invested in this extremely expensive equipment but their staff has not had a lot of training using it. I would rather have traditional surgery with someone with years of experience in the procedure than robotic with someone still learning.
Please feel free to ask any questions that may come up as there is bound to be someone here who has "been there, done that."
Wishing you all the best
Sara Anne